tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47088612576162400812024-03-05T08:45:35.731-08:00SMS Mantra: Fun begins hereMindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.comBlogger356125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-19156930027098209182017-07-24T20:56:00.002-07:002017-07-24T20:56:29.569-07:00Hilarious Medical situations<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*Hilarious Medical situations*<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. A man comes into the ER & yells, 'My wife's goin to have
her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
lady's dress & began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there
were several cabs . . . And I was in the wrong one.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. At the beginning of my shift I
placed a stethoscope on an elderly & slightly deaf female patient's
anterior chest wall. Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . .
replied the patient.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle, WASHINGTON<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. One day I had to be the bearer
of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive
myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to
the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. While acquainting myself with
a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a
look of complete confusion she answered, ' Why, not for about twenty years -
when my husband was alive.'<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,<br />
Corvallis, OREGON<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. A nurse was on duty in the
Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker
Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, & wearing strange clothing, entered.
It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the
operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green &
above it there was a tattoo that read 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery
was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which
said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Submitted by RN, no name<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">AND FINALLY . . . . THE FUNNIEST<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A woman & a baby were in the
doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first
exam. The doctor arrived, & examined the baby, checked his weight. Being a
little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,'
she replied...<br />
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her
nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very
professional & detailed examination.<br />
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is
underweight. You don't have any milk.'<br />
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his grandma, but I'm glad I came.'</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-32379442036911408002014-07-13T06:56:00.000-07:002014-07-13T06:56:24.612-07:00Think it over<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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1 - मुझे उचित शिक्षा लेने का अवसर नही मिला | अचित शिक्षा का अवसर फोर्ड मोटर्स के मालिक हेनरी फोर्ड को भी नही मिला |</div>
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2- बचपन मे ही मेरे पिता का देहाँत हो गया था |<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />प्रख्यात संगीतकार ए . आर . रहमान के पिता का भी देहांत बचपन मे हो गया था |</span></div>
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3 - मै अत्यंत गरीब घर से हू | पूर्व राष्ट्रपति अब्दुल कलाम भी गरीब घर से थे |</div>
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4- बचपन से ही अस्वस्थ था | आँस्कर विजेता अभिनेत्री मरली मेटलिन भी बचपन से बहरी व अस्वस्थ थी |</div>
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5 -मैने साइकिल पर घूमकर आधी जिंदगी गुजारी है| निरमा के करसन भाई पटेल ने भी साइकिल पर निरमा बेचकर आधी जिन्दगी गुजारी |</div>
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6- एक दुर्घटना मे अपाहिज होने के बाद मेरी हिम्मत चली गयी |<br />प्रख्यात नृत्यांगना सुधा चन्द्रन के पैर नकली है |</div>
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7 - मुझे बचपन से मंद बुद्धि कहा जाता है | थामस अल्वा एडीसन को भी बचपन से मंदबुद्धि कहा जाता था |</div>
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8 - मै इतनी बार हार चूका अब हिम्मत नही | अब्राहम लिंकन 15 बार चुनाव हारने के बाद राष्ट्रपति बने |</div>
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9 - मुझे बचपन से परिवार की जिम्मेदारी उठानी पङी | लता मंगेशकर को भी बचपन से परिवार की जिम्मेदारी उठानी पङी थी |</div>
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10 - मेरी लंबाई बहुत कम है | सचिन तेंदुलकर की भी लंबाई कम है |</div>
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11 - मै एक छोटी सी नौकरी करता हू इससे क्या होगा | धीरु अंबानी भी छोटी नौकरी करते थे</div>
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12 - मेरी कम्पनी एक बार दिवालिया हो चुकी है , अब मुझ पर कौन भरोसा करेगा | दुनिया की सबसे बङी शीतल पेय निर्माता पेप्सी कोला भी दो बार दिवालिया हो चुकी है |</div>
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13 - मेरा दो बार नर्वस ब्रेकडाउन हो चुका है , अब क्या कर पाऊगा | डिज्नीलैंड बनाने के पहले वाल्ट डिज्नी का तीन बार नर्वस ब्रेकडाउन हुआ था |</div>
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14 - मेरी उम्र बहुत ज्यादा है | विश्व प्रसिद्ध केंटुकी फ्राइड के मालिक ने 60 साल की उम्र मे पहला रेस्तरा खोला था |</div>
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15 - मेरे पास बहुमूल्य आइडिया है पर लोग अस्वीकार कर देते है | जेराँक्स फोटो कापी मशीन के आइडिये को भी ढेरो कंपनियो ने अस्वीकार किया था पर आज परिणाम सामने है |</div>
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16 - मेरे पास धन नही | इन्फोसिस के पूर्व चेयरमैन नारायणमूर्ति के पास भी धन नही था उन्हे अपनी पत्नी के गहने बेचने पङे |</div>
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17 - मुझे ढेरो बिमारिया है | वर्जिन एयरलाइंस के प्रमुख भी अनेको बीमारियो मे थे | राष्ट्रपति रुजवेल्ट के दोनो पैर काम नही करते थे .......</div>
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कुछ लोग कहेगे कि यह जरुरी नही कि जो प्रतिभा इन महानायको मे थी , वह हम मे भी हो ________ सहमत हू मै लेकिन यह भी जरुरी नही कि जो प्रतिभा आपके अंदर है वह इन महानायको मे भी हो |||||||<br />सार यह है कि<br />"" आज आप जहा भी है या कल जहाँ भी होगे इसके लिए आप किसी और को<br />जिम्मेदार नही ठहरा सकते , इसलिए आज चुनाव करिये " सफलता और सपने चाहिए या खोखले बहाने .......?</div>
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-53868011201381944352014-01-15T04:42:00.003-08:002014-01-15T04:42:36.102-08:00Husband Wife Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Newly married Husband:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I had 10 affairs before marriage!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Smart Wife: Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mein 36 ke 36 gun mile hain, toh aadate bhi zarur milengi...!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Wife Rocks !!! Husband Shocks !!! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">------------------------</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">SIR:- Whats difference between Coffee Shop & Wine Shop? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">STUDENT:-</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Very Simple sir,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Love Starts in</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Coffee Shop,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Love Ends in Wine Shop..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">-------------------------</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Shaadi ke 5 years baad, on Valentine's day, husband brought white roses for wife.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Patni: Yeh kya White Roses kyon? Valentine Day par toh Red Roses dete hai na?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Pati: Ab Zindagi me, Pyaar se jyada Shaanti ki Jarurat hai.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Fun Time........... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">1 husband-apne marriage certificate ko 1ghante se dekh rah tha</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Wife-tum 1ghante se kya dekh rahe ho? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Hubby:expiry date dhoond raha hu. Saalo ne likhi nahi</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">--------------------------------------------</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">A Lady visited A Bar for the First Time, She Sat on the Table in Front of the BarTender..A Guy at Her Left ordered: "Jack Daniels, Single"A Guy at Her Right ordered: "Johnny Walker, Single"The Bar Tender Looked at the Lady & said: And You..??Lady replied: "Rupali Deshpande, Married..!!"</span></div>
MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-75510211203976671562013-11-25T01:39:00.003-08:002013-11-25T01:39:54.891-08:00Do baatein <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Do baatein hamesha yaad rakhna:</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>1. Pahli baat</b></span><br />
<b><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Har insaan itna bura nahi hota jitna 'pan-card' aur 'aadhar card' mein dikhta hai. Aur itna achcha bhi nahi hota jitna 'facebook' aur 'whats app' per dikhta hai.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>2. Aur dusri baat : </b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Har aadmi itna bura nahi hota jitna uski 'biwi' usko samajhti hai... Aur itna achcha bhi nahi hota jitna uski 'maa' usko samajhti hai..</span></div>
MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-88560110751556188672013-10-29T07:45:00.000-07:002013-10-29T07:45:05.229-07:0010 Gurumantras for a cool life:<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">1. Money is not everything. There's also Mastercard & Visa.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">3. Save water. Drink on the rocks.</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">4. Fruits/Salads are healthy. So leave them for the sick.<br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">5. Books are holy. So don't touch them.<br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">6. Don't shout in the class. It disturbs those who are sleeping.<br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">7. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.<br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">8. Hard work never killed anyone, but why take a chance.<br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">9. Why do something today when it can be done tomorrow(by someone else).<br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">10. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life.</span></div>
MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-21968636214756579012013-09-22T01:46:00.003-07:002013-09-22T01:46:37.362-07:00Latest PJs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">A set of PJs:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Blocked...</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Aaj kal ki ladkiyan choti choti baat pe chat account block kar deti hain... Few examples:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br />Boy: What's your Name??<br />Girl: Palak and you?<br />Boy: Paneer.<br />**BLOCKED!!!**<br /><br />Girl : Hello I am Khusbu.<br />Boy: Khusbu ka dusra naam bharosa agarbati.... kone kone me khusbu faila de.<br />**Blocked**<br /><br />Boy: Hi, what's your name??<br />Girl: Neha Singhal.<br />Boy: Oh.. I am also Single.<br />**Blocked**<br /><br />Girl: What's UP?<br />Boy: Uttar Pradesh...<br />**blocked**<br /><br />Girl: Tu soya hai...???<br />Boy: Nahi...! Schezwan hun..!<br />**Blocked Instantly**<br /><br />Girl: I'm free tommorow!<br />Boy: Pehle kya paid thi??<br />**BLOCKED**<br /><br />Boy: Aj mausam achha hai, Mall chalte hain.<br />Girl: Waha kya karenge??<br />Boy: Hawan karenge, hawan karenge.<br />**Blocked**<br /><br />Girl: See ya!<br />Boy: Ram Chandra ki jai!<br />**Blocked**<br /><br />Girl: Have a Good Day....<br />Boy: No thank you... I like Parle-G more...<br />**BLOCKED**<br /><br />Girl: I need some Space.<br />Boy: Ok then go to Sonakshi Sinha's forehead.<br />**Blocked**<br /><br />Girl puts up her status: Waiting for CHENNAI EXPRESS...<br />Boy: COOLIE hai kya??<br />**Blocked**<br /><br />Boy: Thank you.<br />Girl: It's my Pleasure.<br />Boy: My Bajaj Pulsar.<br />**Blocked Forever*</span></div>
MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-39956618663402116212013-05-28T05:47:00.002-07:002013-05-28T05:47:39.834-07:00Parenting Education for new Parents :-) Funny<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-57590162972170774422013-05-16T06:05:00.002-07:002013-05-16T06:05:20.785-07:00Funny Jokes and SMS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">BOY to GIRL :</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Look Into my eyes, what do u see...?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GIRL:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">True Love !!...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">BOY :</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oo Juliet Ki Amma .. !!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">kuch aankh mein chala gaya hai</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaldi nikaal......</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why does Wahida Rehaman never change her Saree in d film GUIDE?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bcoz, Dev Anand Says:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">O Mere Humrahi</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meri Baah Thame Chalna</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Badle Duniya</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"SAREE"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tum Na Badalna..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Doctor:"Kya takleef hai.. ??</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pappu:"Seenay me Bohot dard ho Raha hai..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Doctor:"Cigrette Peety ho..??</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pappu:"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Han Par</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Gold Flake"hi Mangwana...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Banta: Aap ko kabhi kisi se pyar hua hai?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Santa: Haan yaar, par woh maanti hi nahi..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Banta: Kyun? Kya kehti hai?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Santa: Kehti hai 'I LOVE YOU 2'. Pata nahi saala ye doosra kaun hai...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!</span><br />
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-41780758303650835952013-05-15T23:59:00.000-07:002013-05-15T23:59:15.826-07:00Funny Laws of Fun <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><span style="color: purple;">LAWS OF FUN</span></b></div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">1) Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">2) Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br />3) Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.<br /><br />4) Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.<br /><br />6) Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.<br /><br />7) Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.<br /><br />8) Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.<br /><br />9) Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.<br /><br />10) Theatre Rule: People with the seats at the furthest from the screen arrive last.<br /><br />11) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will<br />last until the coffee is cold.<br /><br />12) Law of Proposal : After u accept a proposal you will get a better one..</span></div>
MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-48479804984996199202013-05-14T06:18:00.001-07:002013-05-14T06:20:16.663-07:00Latest Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Listening to wife is like reading the terms and
conditions of website. You understand nothing, still you say...</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">"I Agree" ... ... !!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">All my life I kept on believing that ..... air
is for free....</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">until</span><br />
<span style="background: white;">.</span><br />
<span style="background: white;">.</span><br />
<span style="background: white;">.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow"><span style="background: white;">.</span><span style="background: white;"><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">I bought a BAG of CHIPS ;)</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Pakistani PM: Nawaz Sharif.</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">Indian PM: Na-Awaz Na-Sharif.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background: white;">Hmmm. #TheekHai<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">vodka + water = injures kidney</span><br />
<br />
rum + water =
injures liver<br />
<br />
whiskey + water =
injures heart<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.0pt;">gin + water = injures brain .</span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br />
<br />
</span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.0pt;">I think there is something</span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br />
</span><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.0pt;">wrong in water !!</span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-26171723664259027022012-11-26T03:15:00.001-08:002012-11-26T03:15:58.402-08:00Random Pics<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-39237978677217744762012-11-01T06:54:00.002-07:002012-11-01T06:54:47.214-07:00Aaj Ka Media<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">भगवान राम जब अयोध्या लौट कर आये थे, यदि उस समय</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">हमारी मिडिया रही होती तो प्रेस कांफ्रेंस में कैसे कैसे सवाल करती.....</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">-आपके टीम के श्री हनुमान को लंका सन्देश देने भेजा था पर उन्होंने वहाँ आग लगा दी.... क्या आपकी टीम में अंदरूनी तौर पर वैचारिक मतभेद है?</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br />
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- क्या हनुमान के ऊपर अशोक वाटिका उजाड़ने के आरोप में वन विभाग द्वारा मुकदमा नहीं चलाया जाना चाहिए?<br /><br />- आपके सहयोगी श्री सुग्रीव पर अपने भाई का राज्य हड़पने का आरोप है|....क्या आपने इसकी जांच करवाई?<br /><br />- क्या ये सच है कि सुग्रीव की राज्य हड़पने की साजिश के मास्टर माइंड आप है?<br /><br />- आप चौदह साल तक वनवास में रहे... आपको अपने खर्चे चलाने के लिए फंड कहाँ से मिले?<br /><br />- क्या आपने उस फंड का ऑडिट करवाया है?<br /><br />- आपने सिर्फ रावण पर हमला क्यों किया, जबकि राक्षस और भी थे? क्या ये लंका की डेमोक्रेसी को अस्थिर करने की साजिश थी?<br /><br />- क्या ये सच नहीं है कि रावण को परेशान करने के मकसद से आपने उनके परिवार के निर्दोष लोगो जैसे कुम्भकरण पर हमला किया?<br /><br />- क्या आपकी टीम के हनुमान द्वारा संजीवनी बूटी की जगह पूरा पहाड<br />उखाड़ लेना सरकारी जमीन के साथ छेड़छाड़ नहीं?<br /><br />- क्या ये सच नहीं कि आपने हमले से पहले समुद्र पर पुल बनाने का ठेका अपने करीबी नल और नील को नहीं दिया?<br /><br />- आपने पुल बनाने के लिए छोटी छोटी गिलहरियों से काम करवाया..... क्या इसके लिए आप पर बाल श्रम कानून के तहत मुकदमा नहीं चलाया जाना चाहिए?<br /><br />- आपने बिना किसी पद पर रहते हुए युद्ध के समय इन्द्र से सहायता प्राप्त की और उनका रथ लेकर रावण पर हमला किया.. क्या आप इन्द्र की टीम ए है?<br /><br />- इस सहायता के बदले में क्या आपने इन्द्र को ये वादा नहीं किया कि अयोध्या का राजा बनने के बाद आप उन्हें अयोध्या के आस पास की जमीन दे देंगे?<br /><br />- आप युद्ध में अयोध्या से रथ न मंगवा कर इन्द्र से रथ लिया.... क्या ये इन्द्र की कंपनी को लाभ पहुंचाने के उद्देश्य से किया गया?<br /><br />- क्या आपने जामवंत को सहायता के बदले राष्ट्रपति बनाने का वादा नहीं किया?<br /><br />विभीषण अपने टीम में शामिल करके आपने दल-बदल क़ानून का सरासर उलंघन नहीं किया ?<br /><br />- और आखिरी सवाल, कि आपने भरत को राजा बनाया ...<br />क्या आपको अपनी नेतृत्व क्षमता संदेह था?</div>
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-65803124993681969182012-09-23T09:59:00.001-07:002012-09-23T09:59:34.885-07:00Extended Murphy's Laws <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>Law of Queue:</b> If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>Law of Telephone:</b> When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>Law of Mechanical Repair:</b> After your hands become coated with grease,your nose will begin to itch.</span><br />
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<b>Law of the Workshop:</b> Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.<br /></div>
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<b>Law of the Alibi:</b> If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.<br /></div>
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<b>Bath Theorem:</b> When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.<br /></div>
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<b>Law of Encounters:</b> The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.<br /></div>
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<b>Law of the Result:</b> When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.<br /></div>
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<b>Law of Biomechanics:</b> The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.</div>
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<br /><b>Theatre Rule:</b> People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.<br /></div>
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<b>Law of Coffee:</b> As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.</div>
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-1344720907990522172012-09-15T21:18:00.001-07:002012-09-15T21:18:57.015-07:00Stay Focused :-)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiInPUGUTP6ngtRwikVQRSbktgpulAxzRYkUUv2nlCM-TfUny4uN-I0ujcIJYQP5q7ZBWFPFQWjmmZkMaUAwtBhIzCCB6jEVc4URqDwwZDO-UpKpIVX3-kPH4gi8fDFncztNcq5_UawMmsr/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiInPUGUTP6ngtRwikVQRSbktgpulAxzRYkUUv2nlCM-TfUny4uN-I0ujcIJYQP5q7ZBWFPFQWjmmZkMaUAwtBhIzCCB6jEVc4URqDwwZDO-UpKpIVX3-kPH4gi8fDFncztNcq5_UawMmsr/s400/1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-62956539699038049442012-08-09T23:11:00.002-07:002012-08-09T23:11:43.176-07:00Bosses are like that :-)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="background: white; color: #004080; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">B</span></b><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">oss</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">: There are 50 bricks on an airplane. If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br />
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Employee</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: That's easy, 49.</span><br />
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Boss</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?</span><br />
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Employee</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge</span><br />
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Boss</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?</span><br />
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Employee</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.</span><br />
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Boss</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?</span><br />
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Employee</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: Because the deer is in the fridge.</span><br />
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Boss</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?</span><br />
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Employee</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday</span><br />
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Boss</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?</span><br />
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Employee</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span><span style="background: white;">: Er....I guess she drowned....err....</span> <br />
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Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the airplane. That’s the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!</span></b><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <br />
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<b><span style="background: white;">Moral: Jitna marzi prepare karlo.. Agar boss ne thaanli hai bajane ki to bajake hi rahega</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="background: white;"> </span></span></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-2078324682239809092012-08-06T05:57:00.000-07:002012-08-06T05:57:26.958-07:00Rajnikanth Jokes | Rajni Mind It SMS<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">1. Once upon a time Rajnikanth used a tooth powder to get strong teeth. . . today that powder is used as</span><span style="color: #222222;"><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">CEMENT </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">2. Once Rajnikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Heavy Play !</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">3. Once Rajnikanth gone for a walk and after one hour police arrested him u know why.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">He reached<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>USA<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and having No Visa with him! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">4. Rajnikanth was practicing spellings. The rough sheet he used is today known as the..</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">OXFORD<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>DICTIONARY !! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">5. Hrithik tried to participate in a dance competition with Rajnikanth. Result: ...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">He is in a wheel chair in Guzaarish ! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">6. Rajnikanth was once told to choose 3 subjects when he got admission in Jr.college......</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">He chose science, arts and commerce!!!!!!! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">7. Rajnikanth can make calls from his ...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">iPod to his iPad.!!! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">8. One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbers...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Thats how the Log table was invented. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">9. One day Rajnikanth bunked school..... </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Since then it is known as Sunday </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">10. Once Rajnikanth was on the hot seat of KBC....</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">And the computer needed lifeline to choose the question. Mind it! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">11. Michael Jordan to Rajni: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Rajni: .....</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Rascalaa, how do you think the earth spins!? </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">12. Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. You can ask me anything.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Rajnikanth: ... Ok. Tell me, how many holes are there in the NET?? </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">13. All scientists failed to answer this but Rajnikant did.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Rajni: ....... DOSAI.. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">14. Once a big stone obstructed Rajani's way.He kicked high in sky and now it is so called...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">The MOON</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">15. Once when performing on a beach in Tamil Nadu, Rajanikant kicked a stone..</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Now that stone is known as . . . .</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">SRI LANKA</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">16. Rajinikant participated in 100 meter race and obviously he came first...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">But Einstein died after watching that. . . bcoz . . . .</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">LIGHT came second !</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">17.Once Rajinikant participated in Moto gp Bike race......Don't even try to guess what happened ...........</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Rajinikant won d race in neutral gear!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">18. Rajinikanth doesnt breathe.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Air hides in his lungs for protection !</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">19. Once Rajinikant went to<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Bhopal<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>for shooting and had a stomach upset.....and the result was.. . . . </span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">BHOPAL<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>GAS TRAGEDY!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">20. 1 day Rajinikant got angry on his sweeper boy., he kicked him so hard that he went flying in the sky with is broom...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">2day that boy is famous as "HARRY POTTER".</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">21. Before Tom Cruise, Rajnikant was approached for the movie "Mission Impossible"but he refused . . . .</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">as he found the title insulting</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">22. Once Rajnikanth was asked how he felt about the jokes made on him which were spreading through sms and internet.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">To everyone's surprise he started laughing and replied- " Ennada Do you really think they are jokes? "</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">23. Rajni once taught a child how to play counter strike and that guy is now called..............</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">"OSAMA BIN LADEN" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">24. Once Dinosaurs rented some land from Rajnikanth and made mistake not to pay the dues.......</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">That was the last time anyone saw Dinosaurs ! thats rajni mindittttt</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">25. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Its descendants are today called Giraffes.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">26. As a kid Rajnikant maintained a diary of day to day activities, today that diary called as. . . . . . . . .</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Guinness Book Of World Records</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">27. Once a boy inserted A CD named Rajnikanth into his PC... Guess wot.... . . . .</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">His PC started Rotating around the CD rom</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">28. Intel's new tag line for its processors ........... "Rajnikanth Inside"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">29. Once Rajnikant taught a boy how to kiss. Now that boy is known as<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>'. . . .</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Emran Hashmi'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">30. When Rajinikant croses the Road, the cars have to look . . . . left and right before moving.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">31. Next time Rajnikanth was practicing spellings... The rough sheet he used is known as ... ... : ..</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Thesaurus !! :D,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">32. If Rajnikant was born a little earlier 500 years back, Britishers would have fought to get independence from<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>India<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>!!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;"> & know what...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;"> The Caucasians would have been slaves in<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Americas<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>, Africa & Australia !!!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">33. People will have to pass RAT EXAM from this year onwards to get admission to any professional program.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Yes RAT paper.... : : Rajnikant Aptitude Test !!!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">"Guys This is SERIOUS, Please Stop making Jokes on Rajnikant da .....or else.He will Delete the INTERNET altogether daa</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white;">MIND ITT!!!.."</span></span></span><o:p></o:p></div></div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-55139056656606616642012-07-31T05:13:00.000-07:002012-07-31T05:13:29.801-07:00Wacky Definitions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>School:</b> A place where Papa pays and Son plays. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Life Insurance:</b> A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Nurse</b>: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Marriage</b>: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Tears</b>: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Lecture</b>: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Conference</b>: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Compromise</b>: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Dictionary</b>: A place where success comes before work. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Conference Room</b>: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Father</b>: A banker provided by nature. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Boss</b>: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Politician</b>: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Doctor</b>: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Classic: </b>Books, which people praise, but do not read. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Smile</b>: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Office</b>: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Yawn</b>: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Etc</b>.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Committee</b>: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Experience</b>: The name men give to their mistakes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Atom Bomb</b>: An invention to end all inventions. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Philosopher</b>: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death</span><br />
</div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-26652103335659789172012-07-31T05:10:00.000-07:002012-07-31T05:10:24.196-07:00Corporate Management Explained<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.<br />
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."<br />
<br />
Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."<br />
<br />
The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."<br />
<br />
Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."<br />
<br />
The farmer asked: "What you gonna to do with him?"<br />
<br />
Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot -! to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)<br />
<br />
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"<br />
<br />
Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."<br />
<br />
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"<br />
<br />
Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998.00."<br />
<br />
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"<br />
<br />
Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."<br />
</div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-58442586255630243892012-07-31T02:44:00.001-07:002012-07-31T02:44:42.239-07:00Santa Banta ... Fun continues...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><strong><span style="background: white; color: #00bfbf; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #00bfbf; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #00bfbf; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet. </strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.</strong></span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><strong><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #00bf60; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #00bf60; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #00bf60; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #ff007f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #ff007f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #ff007f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.</strong></span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #0060bf; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #0060bf; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha </strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">*********</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><strong><span style="background: white; color: #00bfbf; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">THE BEST ONE ! ! ! ! !</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #00bfbf; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #00bfbf; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span></b><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* </strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga... </strong></span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><strong><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #007f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #007f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #007f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Santa: Phir?</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !</strong></span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><strong><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><strong><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #60bf00; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Pappu: Ajj madam ne 1 swaal puchhya jisda jawab sirf mainu hi pata si.</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #60bf00; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #60bf00; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Santa: Mera biba beta, ki swaal si?</strong><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
<strong>Pappu: Swaal si k blackboard kol susu kine kita hai?</strong></span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><strong><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: #c00000; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><strong><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
</span></b><strong><span style="background: white; color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?</span></strong><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
<strong>Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..!</strong></span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="background: white; color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span></b></span><o:p></o:p></div></div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-6081797849893908592012-07-30T03:28:00.000-07:002012-07-30T03:28:51.039-07:00MEN Vs WOMEN<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Silent Treatment... </span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">other the silent treatment. </span><br />
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</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Please wake me at 5:00 AM ' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He left it where he knew she would find it.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and he had missed his flight. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Furious, he was about to go and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the bed. </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>WIFE VS. HUSBAND</b></span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">An earlier discussion had led to an argument and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">neither of them wanted to concede their position.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Yep,' the wife replied , 'in-laws''</span><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>WOMEN'S REVENGE..</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'No,' she replied, ' but my husband refused to come shopping with me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN.. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know I'm not going to understand women.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and still be afraid of a spider..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>W O R D S..</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">30,000 to a man's 15,000.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men....</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>CREATION..</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !!! </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>WHO DOES WHAT..</b></span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A man and his wife were having an argument about who</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">should brew the coffee each morning.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The wife said, 'You should do it, because you get up first,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The husband said, ' You are in charge of cooking around here and </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that the man should do the coffee.'</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ ..'HEBREWS' </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God may have created man before woman,</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. . </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> GOD CREATED MAN THAN HE RESTED, THAN CREATED WOMAN BUT AFTER THAT</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">NEITHER GOD NOR MAN RSTED.</span></div></div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-68148062639576516592012-07-29T22:32:00.002-07:002012-07-29T22:32:36.063-07:00Five Minutes - Explained<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-aWPVVy7FiOE2JPXJZFjmHpefyW6O2I_tfeCCegZuXYui9auW0FGeHEQD50CkEPc7l9mQjOMRO6mGpG6EvCnTbDL1wAjrRcHvDaNwVDIU0np0O6_elf488LS8o0JHBReY2hXayv7ndHJE/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-aWPVVy7FiOE2JPXJZFjmHpefyW6O2I_tfeCCegZuXYui9auW0FGeHEQD50CkEPc7l9mQjOMRO6mGpG6EvCnTbDL1wAjrRcHvDaNwVDIU0np0O6_elf488LS8o0JHBReY2hXayv7ndHJE/s400/1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
</div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-65818519168373808792012-07-27T03:04:00.000-07:002012-07-27T03:04:09.425-07:001 line humor – no fun, its serious<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cheque. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[22] Man: Is there any way for long life? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dr: Get married. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Man: Will it help? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div><div class="MsoPlainText"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">[28]Faithful husband always goes to heaven but unfaithful husband always enjoys heaven on the earth.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoPlainText"><br />
</div></div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-30637193575362304382012-07-26T08:19:00.002-07:002012-07-26T08:19:56.470-07:00Santa Banta ... Fun continues<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white; color: red; font-size: 13.5pt;">• Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?<br />
Girl: Tameez se baat karo..<br />
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?</span><span style="background: white; color: navy; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do!</span><span style="background: white; color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Santa: I tried<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>ur<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>number so many times, it always said 'Switched<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
Off'!"<br />
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!</span><span style="background: white; color: navy; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de.<br />
Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
main ye andha hai.</span><span style="background: white; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>gaya<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>?</span><span style="background: white; color: navy; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?<br />
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!<br />
<br />
• Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
Banta: Don't know...<br />
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!</span><span style="background: white; color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?<br />
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.</span><span style="background: white; color: teal; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
</span><span style="background: white; color: navy; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;">• Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>gaya<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>to isi doctor se shadi<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
kar<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Lena<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>...<br />
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?<br />
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!</span><span style="background: white; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?<br />
Rikshawala: 10 Rs<br />
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai<br />
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?<br />
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.</span><span style="background: white; color: #813f62; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Santa bought a car on loan..... He didn't pay the dues, the bank<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
took away his car<br />
Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!</span><span style="background: white; color: navy; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Banta mujra dekhne<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>gaya<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>, sari raat mujra dekha.<br />
Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><br />
Banta utha or khud nachne laga..<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="background: white; color: #ff8100; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
<br />
• Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on d road. Traffic inspector stopped him.<br />
Banta: I'm learning car driving.<br />
Inspector: Without d instructor?<br />
Banta: Correspondence Course!</span><o:p></o:p></div></div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-87121423316136636192012-07-19T06:37:00.002-07:002012-07-19T23:49:14.830-07:00Funny Pics Series<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMGnxGnzRKWZv4Ul5nr_h9ED3L2Ji5i84SzXDwDV1pFoliTz3ctoi8OtI-Sxt0MjKCQRqXdYyfCATmgXT1JLCNQVydlyASqO9KTunHiZubMmTQGxnZmisAWi7aUEQAK31Z3aXa6DVInK_J/s1600/faltu1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMGnxGnzRKWZv4Ul5nr_h9ED3L2Ji5i84SzXDwDV1pFoliTz3ctoi8OtI-Sxt0MjKCQRqXdYyfCATmgXT1JLCNQVydlyASqO9KTunHiZubMmTQGxnZmisAWi7aUEQAK31Z3aXa6DVInK_J/s400/faltu1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
</div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4708861257616240081.post-6869834515166334022012-07-10T09:44:00.000-07:002012-07-10T09:44:04.728-07:00Serious Jokes--Petrol & Rupee......<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">New Greetings:</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">May your happiness increase like Petrol Price,</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">May your sorrow fall like Indian Rupee, and</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">May joy fill your heart like corruption in India…!!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Congress is fulfilling its promise, when they said: GDP will rise this year.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The only thing we forgot to ask him its full form:</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">G= Gas & Gold</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">D= Diesel & Dollar</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">P= Petrol & Penny</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Pleasure & Pain come at the same price: Rs.80/- for a Beer Bottle OR 1 Litre Petrol.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Decision is yours…</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">झूम लो</span><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #5f497a; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">या घूम लो.!!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">All Girls’ Dream come True!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">All Girls’ Dream-men will come on horse!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">All thanks to the Petrol Price Hike!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Dear Father-in-Law,</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I deeply regret taking a Car in dowry.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Please take your Daughter or Car back…</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I cannot afford both.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Now Tata Nano’s fuel cost will be more than its EMI (Equal Monthly Installments)!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Soon, Rupee will be SENIOR CITIZEN (above Rs.60 per US Dollar);</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #e36c0a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Petrol has already become VERY SENIOR CITIZEN in Bangalore (Rs.81 per litre) !!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Finally it has happened…</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">After decades,</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Beer is now cheaper than petrol !!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Now, there will be new slogan: JUST DRINK; DON’T DRIVE !!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #5f497a; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Expensive petrol will help solve the problem of traffic jams!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #31849b; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Drink and drive should not be a problem now.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #31849b; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">After all, how many will be able to afford alcohol and petrol on the same day?</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We have the world’s cheapest car and the world’s costliest petrol.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: magenta; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">रिकॉर्ड बन गया!!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sign board at Petrol pump: Buy Petrol worth Rs. 20,000 and get a TATA nano absolutely free.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">(scheme for</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">आम आदमी</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 14.0pt;">J</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> <span style="color: red;">Now he can get car with petrol!)</span></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Man at Petrol Pump: Full tank</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: purple; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">कर दो...</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Attendant: Sir, PAN Card</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: purple; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">की</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">copy</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: purple; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">दो...</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Man: What? Why? How?</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: purple; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Attendant: Sir, it’s a HIGH VALUE TRANSACTION !!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Petrol price hiked by Rs.7.50 per litre…</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">और करो संता-बंता के</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">jokes!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">देखा</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">सरदार का</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">revenge..!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Harbhajan to Dhoni:</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: magenta; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">हम तो जानबूझ के मैच हारे है... पता है की जीतनेवाली टीम को</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Volkswagon</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: magenta; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">मिलने वाली है</span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: magenta; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">और वो</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">petrol</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: magenta; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">की है...!!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Amitabh Bachchan has decided to take all his payments in Dollars…</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Because……….</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="HI" style="color: #1f497d; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">वो आज भी गिरे हुए पैसे नहीं उठाता...!!!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #9bbb59; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Dharmendra’s new dialogue:</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="HI" style="color: #9bbb59; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">कुत्ते... कमीने...</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> <span style="color: #9bbb59;">तेरी गड्डी का पेट्रोल</span> <span style="color: #9bbb59;">पी</span> <span style="color: #9bbb59;">जाऊंगा...</span></span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Beti: Mom, He is JUST A FRIEND!</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Mom:</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #00b050; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">हमने दुनिया देखि है</span><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #00b050; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">बेटी...</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">2</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #00b050; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">लीटर पेट्रोल जलाके घर आने वाला कभी</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: #00b050; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">JUST FRIEND</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #00b050; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">नहीं होता...</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Petrol Pump Attendant:</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #7030a0; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">कितने का डालूँ</span><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">?</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Grahak: 50 ML</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #7030a0; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">गाडी पे स्प्रे कर दे भाई</span><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: #7030a0; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">आग लगानी है...</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Dear Rupee,</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="HI" style="color: magenta; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">तुम मेरे प्यार में इतना गिर जाओगे</span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="HI" style="color: magenta; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">ये मैंने सपने में भी नहीं सोचा था...</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">~</span><span lang="HI" style="color: magenta; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">तुम्हारा</span><span lang="HI" style="font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;"> </span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Dollar</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">रामचंद्र कहे गए सिया से</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-language: HI;">ऐसा कलयुग आएगा</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,</span><o:p></o:p></div><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: HI; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">कार कैश पे लेगा हर कोई</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">,</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: HI; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">पेट्रोल लोन से भरवाएगा...!!</span><br />
<h2 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="HI" style="color: red; font-family: Mangal;"><br />
</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">Breaking News:</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">Rupee qualifies for the London Olympics. Category - Diving</span></span></span></h2></div>MindGrillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10928765734812639244noreply@blogger.com0