Santa Banta Continues...

Santa talking on cell.Banta: kis se baat kar raho ho.
Santa: biwi se.....
Banta: itne... pyar se....?
Santa: tumhari hai. . .!!!


Sardar's Son - Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..

Sardar was travling in train,
A woman sat on his son's berth & didn't getup...
Sardar shouted:"THIS LADY IS NOT GIVING BIRTH TO MY CHILD !"


Santa goes to hotel & orders Omlette..
Waiter :french or spanish ?
Santa: jera marji le aa,Main kehra galan karniya ne...

Santa Singh sends sms to all his friends..."My cell no. has changed.. earlier it was Nokia 1100 .. now it is Nokia 6600"

NASA ne 3sardar chaand pe bheje.Rocket uda,magar aadhe raste se vapas!
Jab sardaro ko pucha gaya,toh unhone kaha:'AAJ AMAWAS HAi,CHAAND TO HOGA Hi NAHi NA'!!

Santa-yaar kal main tenu kini waar phone kita par tu nahi chukiya.
Banta-kyon chukan, jehda main 30 Rupaiye de ke gaana luwaya hai, ohnu tera peo sunuga. ...

Santa:Preeto chal honeymoon te chaliye
Preeto:main velli nahi,main halle kapde v dhone e,te pande vi manjne e,tusi beeji nu le jao.

Santa- yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya dun ?
Banta- Gold ring de de
Santa- koi badi cheez bata
Banta- M.R.F ka tyre de de. .

Santa: oye tera viah ho gaya?
Banta: haan.Santa: kuri naal?
Banta: oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: haan, meri behen da hoya si....!

SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon
Gurdware waleyan ne e elan kita hai k gurdware ch 5,10,20,50,100,500,de note nahi chadae jange. . .....KyonKi...GANDHI de sir te rumal nahi hai .

English teacher: "One cute and young girl is walking on the road." Change this into an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- "Oye,pataka !"

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

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Arz Kiya Hai

Arz Kiya Hai

Kehte hain ki ISHQ main neend ud jaati hai
Koi humse bhi ishq kare
Khambhaqat neend bahut aati hai

~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^
Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par,

laakh rupaye ki bat thi,

do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah)

~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^
Aur bhi cheezain bahut see lut chuki hain dil ke saath

Ye bataya dooston ne ishq furmane ke baad;

Is liye kamre ki ek ek cheez "check" karta hoon main

"Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaane ke baad"(wah-wah)

~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^
Log ishq karte hain,Bade shor ke saath.

Humne bhi kiya,Bade zor ke saath.

Magar ab karenge,Thoda gaur ke saath.

Kyonki kal usko dekha,Kisi aur ke saath.

~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^

Aansun se palke bhigo leta hoon

Yaad teri aati hai to ro leta hoon

Socha ki bhula doon tujhe magar,

Har baar faisla badal deta hoon

~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^

Dark were those days, without your sight.

When I was in darkness, you gave me light.

You gave me strength 2 make life bright.

Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT

~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^
Khuda se Scooter manga.. Car di;

Apartment manga.. bangla diya;

dost manga to tumhain diya..

Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kia

~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^~~^
When I C the moon I C U

When I C the stars I C U

When I C the Sea I C U

Get out of the way you are blocking my view.

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The Kissssssssss

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.
As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.
With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey , would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad ? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
" Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
" No way , it's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and
The girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said,
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake ....


TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL... "

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Poem describing transition from College to professional life

Written by a fresher in a company working overnight in the office:-

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed from a maverick collage life to strict professional life…...
How tiny pocket money changed to huge(thik thak) monthly paychecks but then why it gives lesss happiness….
How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe but then why there are less people to use them
How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger But then why there is less hunger…..
Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed…..
How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on but then why there are less places to go on……
How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day but then why its feels like shop is far away…..
How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package but then why there are less calls & more messages……
Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed…..
How a general class journey changed to Flight journey But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….
How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop but then why there is less time to put it on……….
How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate but then why after 8'o Clock it always feel like getting late….
Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life How it changed….. how it changed…

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Valentine's Day

It is easy to love the people far away.

It is not always easy to love those close to us.

It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to

relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home.

Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.

Have A Nice Day and Good Wishes for Valentine's Day !

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Super Deadly PJs... Ekdumm FRESH !!!

A scientist disconnected his doorbell....... can u guess why??? ???? try think!!! donno??? cuz he wanted to win the No-bell prize!!!!!!!!!! ______________________________________________________________________________________________ ship tha..jisme bahut saare log the...usme ek chor bhi tha..ship iceberg se takra gayi or sab dhub gaye ...sirf chor bacch gaya batao kaise? …. . . kyun ki chor ki daadhi me tinka tha.. dhubte hue ko tinka ka sahara mil gaya... or chor bachh gaya ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Ek Kana Ladka Kisi ladki ko Prapose kare to kaun sa gana Gayega??????? ??????????????? Ek Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota hai Maine suna Hai............................................ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Highly complicated PJ Q.wat wud an angrez say to his indian naukar who can only understand hindi if he wants him 2 open the door!! A."There Was A Cold Day "(say it fast) ______________________________________________________________________________________________ colour of frequency what is the colour of frequency?? Purple how ?? frequency ka unit hai Hz u can write it as 1/sec ie. par second in hindi second is also caled as pal therefore PARPAL __ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Sholay movie mai kis ka double role tha . ? ? ? King George how ?? coin ke dono side rehta hai ______________________________________________________________________________________________ according to movie Sholay who is son of lion. ........... . HOLI how ?? . .Gabbar bolta hai na holi cub hai cub hai holi (cub) PS: Hope u r fine after reading this :D

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Husband Vs Wife - 1

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support ,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5,

and then installed undesirable programs such as :

· NBA 5..0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4..1 ..

Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.



DEAR DESPERATE ,

First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update..
· If that application works as designed , Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2..0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 ..
· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly ...

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Installing Sports Channel in you TV

Good Luck!
Tech Support

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Sher-o-Shayri - 2

• Fiza Mein Mehkati Shaam Ho Tum..Pyar Mein Chalakta Jaam Ho Tum. Tumhe Dil Mein Chupaya Phirte Hai.. Ae Dost Meri Zindgi Ka Dusra Naam Ho Tum.
  
  
• Aashiyana Dil Mein Bana Rakha Hai, Tumhari Yado Ko Sine Se Laga Rakha Hai, Pata Nahi Yaad Aate Ho Tumhi Kyo, Dost To Humne Auro Ko Bhi Bana Rakha Hai.
  
  
• Hum Kabhi Apno Se Khafa Ho Nahi Sakte, Dil Ke Rishtey Bewafa Ho Nahi Sakte. Aap Bhale Hee Humein Bhula Ke So Jaye, Hum Aapko Yaad Kiye Bina So Nahi Sakte. Gud Night.
  
  
• Ae Dost Jab Bhi Tu Udas Hoga, Hamara Khayal Tere Paas Hoga, Dil Ki Geheraiyo Se Jab Bhi Karoge Yaad Tumhe Hamare Karib Hone Ka Ehsas Hoga.
  
  
• Yaad Na Karoge To Satayenge.Ruthoge To Manayenge.Royoge To Hasayenge. Dost Hai Hum Tera Saya Nahi Jo Andhere Mein Sath Chod Jayenge.
  
  
  
  

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