GuruPurab SMS

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Jyo kar suraj nikleya..
Tare chupe haner ploa..
Miti dhund jag chanan hoa..
Kaal taarn guru nanak aiya..
Guru Nanak Dev ji De Prakash Utsav Di Lakh-Lakh Wadaiya..


“Nanak Naam chardi Kalaa,
Tere Bhane Sarbat Da Bhala”
Dhan Dhan sahib sri guru nanak dev ji de aagan purab di aap sub nu lakh lakh vadhaai hove ji..


Nanak Nich kahe vichaar, waria na jaava ek waar
Jo tud bhave sai bhali kaar, tu sada salamat nirankaar

Gurpurb Dee Lakh Lakh Wadai


Satgur Nanak Pargataya Mitti Dhund Jag
Channan Hoia.
Aap ji nu Sri Guru Nanak Dev
Ji De aagman purab dian Lakh-Lakh Vadayian.



May happiness and blessings
surround you as we join togather
to remember the beloved Sri
Guru Nanak Dev ji and the
Beginnings of Sikhism.



Raj karega khalsa, aakee rehae naa koe,
Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Happy Gurpurab....!


Nanak Nich kahe vichaar,
Waria na jaava ek waar,
Jo tud bhave sai bhali kaar,
Tu sada salamat nirankaar
Gurpurb Dee Lakh Lakh Wadai..!!


AXE effectt... Must read ;-)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Interesting case really funny


Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing naked in front of her after applying all the Axe products. cid:image010.gif@01CA2192.E9691400

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

“Where the Hell is Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.

“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.



Women (Whatever, Anything, You Decide)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

1 . (Whatever)

Men: What should we have for dinner?

Women: Whatever...

Men: Why don't we have Mexican ?

Women: No not Mexican, the last time I got pimples on my face.

Men: Alright, why don't we have Sichuan cuisine.

Women: Yesterday we ate Szechuan, today too?

Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood.

Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhea.

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women : Whatever.....

2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?

Women: Anything......

Men: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time.

Women: Watching movie is no good, it's a waste of time.

Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises?

Women: Exercise on such a hot day ?

Men: Then find a cafe' and have a drink.

Women: I am off caffeine.

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women: Anything.......

3. (You decide)

Men: Then do we just go home ?

Women: You decide.

Men: Let's take the bus, I will accompany you

Women: The Bus is dirty and crowded.

Men: Ok we will take a cab.

Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance.

Men: Alright, then we can walk. We can enjoy the weather.

Women: I am hungry, can't walk?

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women: You decide.

Men: Let's have dinner first.

Women: Whatever...

Men: Eat what?

Women: Anything..... . .  .


Overconfidence !!!

Monday, October 26, 2009

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said,

"But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"



Monday, October 19, 2009

3 powerful equations,
2 extremely powerful postulates
1 powerful email, containing it all !
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Women = Donkeys + spend
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)
So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude,
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!


Cost cutting!!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Cost cutting!!!



Matrimonial Ad

Monday, October 12, 2009

Now that I have seen almost 20 years of my life and most of it without anyone who I could in the true sense call as a friend.....I have been thinking now for a while as to how my spouse oughta be............

# # # # I am not looking for only a beautiful, slim and an intelligent girl.......They are all cliché The ones that matter are:

* The first prerequisite I expect of my wife --- no it isn't the ability to understand me, that's the second---- the first one's a sense of humour for me and all my nonsense

* She must sleep in my lap and allow me into hers. She must run her hand into my hair and fight me with pillows as often as she can.

* She must allow me to disturb her, Which I will, ---no matter how busy and serious she is and I am--- , while she goes about our household chores.

* She must sit with me shoulder in shoulder when we watch the late night movie together and must oblige to have a midnight walk anytime in the night.

* When the curry isn't nice and I stare into her eyes, she must straight away go and make an omlette for me.

* When she is downright tired she must flirt with me to win a cup of tea or a glass of cold water. She must be ready to blow a kiss any time any day and any place.

* She should call me nicknames and how innovative she coins out new ones the better and must be prepared to confront some deadly ones in return. She can call me 'Tu'  or anything as am not at all particular about those pronouns.

* She got every right to beat me up when I annoy her while she watches those dready serials. She can also extract what she wants of me on women's day. And I am also ready to share her pre-marital crushes and secrets.

* On those rare occasions when we might fight and then go on a mourning spree, it can continue for the night. The next morning must again be normal.

* I aint promising her a paradise but yes she will always get more of my love than our children.

* And finally, she must have a higher life expectancy than me. I may not be able to live without her.....




About friends... perfect

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Awesome IT Quotes.....

Monday, October 5, 2009

Don't miss. It's fun to read!!!

UNIX is simple. But it just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

-Dennis Ritchie


Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

-Ralph Johnson


Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

-Fred Brooks


It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;
It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell Code Complete


The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent
are full of doubt.

-Bertrand Russell


If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
the process of putting them in.

-Edsger Dijkstra


You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.

-Bertrand Meyer


There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

-Alan J. Perlis


Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft
building progress by weight.

-Bill Gates


The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the
development time.

-Tom Cargill


Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better
idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.


Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don't
know why.



The Six Phases of a Project:

* Enthusiasm
* Disillusionment
* Panic
* Search for the Guilty
* Punishment of the Innocent
* Praise for non-participants



No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it
in front of a live audience,
The probability of a flawless presentation is
Inversely proportional to the number of people watching,
Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.



Gandhi Jayanti SMS

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The father of the nation with the tools of truth and nonviolence Freed our nation from imperialism Follow path of truth and wisdom Pay homage to this great leader on Gandhi Jayanti & always


Jo Bhagwan ko nahi manta use me Insaan nahi manta,aur, jo Gandhiji ko nahi manta use me Indian nahi manta.

Wishing all Indians Happy Gandhi Jayanti on 2nd October.


Ishwar alla tero nam sab ko sanmati de bhagwan,
In remembarence of the mahatma,
HAPPY Gandhi Jayanti…!!


It’s day of celebrations,
Its day to value a special person,
Person who is the cause of our nation,
Who taught world the lesson of non-violence,
Its Mahatama Gandhi..
The Father of Nation……


Aaeey mamu aaj Bapu ka janmadin hai,
Boleto Gandhi jayanti hai,
To mast mein bapu ko yaad karane ka,
Aur is msg ko dosto me forward karke,
Gandhigiri phailane ka kya mamu.


Once upon a time, a common man faced a common incidence but he then turned into uncommon man, became a nation’s pride. He taught world the lesson of non-violence, he taught us to live simple. Man who was so simple yet so complicated that he was driving a whole nation. Nation call him Father. That is Mohandas Karam Chand Gandhi. Our Father of Nation: Mahatma Gandhi. Lets celebrate this valued moment: its Gandhi Jayanti : Gandhi Ji’s Birthday.


Munnabhai:Ye gandhi Bapu har note par haste kyu rehte hai?
Cicuit:Simple hai bhai…
Royenge to note geela nahi ho jayega!!


What’s the difference between Gandhi, Musharraf &Lalu?
Gandhi didn’t know what’s lie.
Musharraf doesn’t know what’s truth.
Lalu doesn’t know the difference!



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A blog for SMS, Occasion specific SMS, New Year SMS, Diwali SMS, Holi SMS, Birthday Special SMS, Christmas, Id, Dusshera, Shivratri, Rakshabandhan, Independence Day, Republic Day, Lohri, Makar Sakranti, Festival SMS, Romantic SMS, Flirt SMS, Laughter SMS, Shayari, Teasing, Friendship, Miss U, Punjabi sms, Hindi sms & funny jokes

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