The Husband

Friday, June 27, 2008

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse phoned"


Funny Quotes - 6

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband
And the one u loved becomes the password of ur mail id"
There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is the liver & wife the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails.
If the kidney fails, the liver manages with other kidney.
Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.

What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date
and Daru is like a wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain
or wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!


Funny Quotes - 5

  • Long back,A person who sacrificed his sleep,Forgot his family,Forgot his food,Forgot laughter were called "Saints"
    But now they are called...
    "IT professionals"
  • An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:"
    If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
  • Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
    Love is always present..Its just that,
    One loves too much,
    The other loves too many,
  • Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
    BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!
  • Philosophy of life
    At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
    Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
  • What is a Fear?
    Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
    When pages of your book still smell new and
    Just few hours left for your exams..!
  • Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask more questions that a wise mancannot answer" No wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
  • Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
    Shopkeeper: Oh sure..!!! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
    Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
  • After reading the form filled by an applicant..
    The employer said: " WE dohave an opening for you..!
    Applicant: What is it?
    Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
  • A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
    Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee.
    ....... Leave them to us


Funny Quotes - 4

Monday, June 9, 2008

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is likeexpecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,but what we are inside
. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are eitherillegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal NehruWe should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu ki ya chacha ki???

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.Which makes it a logical statement that90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!



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