Jokes

Tum Khilkhilate Raho, Muskurate Raho, Khush Raho, Haste Raho, Lotpot Ho Jao, Nacho Gao, Bhangra Pao, Mera Kya Hai Log Tumhe Hi PAGAL Kahenge.


Kallo Slected A Short Girl To Marry.
Lallo Asked: Why?
Kallo Said: Bapu Ne Kaha Tha Musibat Jitni Chotti Ho Utna Hi Acha Hai.


Taxi Driver To Kallo: Car Ki Break Fail Ho Gayi Hai, Kya Karu?
Kallo: Saley Pahele Mitre Band Kar.


Ram Rajey May Doodh Mila, Krishan Yug May Ghee, Apney Yug May Daroo Milli, Tu Dabake Pi.


Jawani Ke Din Chamkiley Ho Gaye, Khushi Ke Tevar Nukiley Ho Gaye, Or Hum Ijhaar Karne May Thode Dheelay Ho Gaye Or Unke Haath Peelay Ho Gaye.

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Love Letter

Love Letter (??????)

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative.
This is a loveletter from a boy to a girl....
However, the girl's father does not like him and want
them stop their relationship......and so.. the boy
wrote this
letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father
will definitely read this letter..

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to
the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE
LINES", meaning-only to read
1.3.5.7.9.11.13.15.17.19.21.23.25. (Odd
Numbers) So..Please try reading it again! It's so
smart & sweet.... :)

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Deadlock Relation

An ultimate one!!!!

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
so make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so let's spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Let's
spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1^st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .

This is called deadlock …!!

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Tension

 

TENSION

Ladki ne aapse lift mangi,
Raste mein uski tabiat kaharab ho gai.
Aapko TENSION !!


Aap hospital le gaye,
Doctorbola – aap baap banne wale ho
Aapko TENSION !!


Aap bole – Mai iska baap nahi !
Phir ladki se pucha
Ladki boli – yehi baap hai.
Aapko aur TENSION.


Phir police ayi
Aapka medical check up hua.
Report aayi.
Aap to kabhi baap hi nahi ban sakte.
Aapko aur TENSION !!


Aap ne khuda ka shukar ada kiya aur aap Khushi Khushi ghar gaye !


Aur phir socha Ki ghar pe jo bachchay hai
Wo kiske hai…????????


Aapko Phir TENSION !!!!!! J J

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Name is Superman

A Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman" arrived at the New york airport
and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hrs for the authorities to
call his name, he got fedup and went to them and asked why they havent
called his name yet.

They said that they have been calling him for last 2 hrs as

'Anotherman Superman'

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Ha Ha Ha !!!

Girls Collage mai Strike ho gai,Sabhi girls Nare Laga rahi hai,
Girls k satth Boys bhi unka satth de rahe hai,
Girls ne Nare lagate huye "HAMARI MANGE....,
Piche se Awaz aye,"SINDUR SE BHARO....".

...............................................
Wife : Ek baat bolu??
Husband : Bolo
Wife : Maaroge to nahi?
Husbund : Nahi to, kya baat hai?
Wife : mai pregnant hun
Husband : Hurray!!! Its gud news, dar kyu rahi thi??
Wife : College ke dino mai papa ko bataya tha to badi maar padi thi.

...............................................
Lalu Goes 2A Shop & Asks:
A Bandarva Ka Photu Kitne Ka He Re?
Shopkepper: Woh Phutwa Nahin Sahib
Wo To Sheesa (Mirror) Hai!

...............................................
Sweetest Proposal by a K.G. class kid to an elder girl
Boy:Kya tu mujhse shadi kalegi?
Gal:Nahi
Boy:Kalle na plz
Gal:nahi mai nahi kalungi.......
Boy:kal lo na didi plzzzzzzzzzz

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A Moral corporate story

Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ.. had a vast scrap
yard in the middle of a desert.

Ruling Party XYZ Said.. - "Someone may steal from it at night."

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..

- "How does the watchman do his job without instruction? "

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to
write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Ruling Party
XYZ Said..,

- "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do
the studies and one to write the reports. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. ,

- "How are these people going to get paid?"

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll
officer, then hired two people. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,

- "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an
Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal
Secretary. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,

- "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000
over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So they lay off the night watchman.

Moral of the story:

"Current Situation In IT industries"

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Pappu Cant Code Saala !!!!

 

[Kit kit kat kat, kat kit kat kat, Kit kit kat kat, Let's code]  

[Kit kit kat kat, kat kit kat kat, Kit kit kat kat, Let's code] 

Hai bachelor (hai bachelor), Has lotsa dollar (lotsa dollar)…

Hai bachelor, has lotsa dollar…

Spectacular! He's a developer (he's a developer, he's a developer)…

Pappu ka dimaag tez hai, Pappu ko breaks ka craze hai…

Pappu ka chashma thick black, Pappu dikhta geek hai (geek hai)…

Swatch ki ghadi hathon mein, Gale mein tag company wala…

[Par Pappu can't code saala] 2

Paida Pappu hua to outsourcing aa thamki…

Angrezon ke muh se nikhli gandhe gaaliyon ki dhamki…

(hey array array) Pappu karta hey cut copy paste…

(hey array array) Tester logon ka time karta hey waste…

(hey array array) Pappu manager logon ka yaar hai…

(hey array array) Pappu beer peene mein toh star hai…

[But Pappu can't code saala] 2

Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta!

Papa kehte the bada kaam karega…

Nahi patha tha Pappu bus maska marega…

(hey array array) Pappu ke paas hai BE…

(hey array array) Manata hai onsite jaise ho holiday…

(hey array array) Pappu keyboard bajata hai…

(hey array array) Jahaan bhi jata hai, wapus aa jata hai…

[Cos Pappu can't code saala] 2

Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta…

Yeah…Pappu can't code saala…!!!

 

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The below diagram demonstrates the process in a female and male brain during the
simple question: "Shall we go for a drink?"

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Buffalo Theory: The work of a genius !!!!!!

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Priceless !!

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.

Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"  

 

Moral

Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00

Broken crockery - $ 800.00

Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS " 

There are truly some things that both money and MasterCard can't buy 

 

 

       

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