Nice sentences

3 Easy Ways to Die:

Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

Love someone truly - You will die daily.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

after Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication:

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..

6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.

Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says: No, we will just throw him away from our path..

Ant 4 says: No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

8. Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer: On their MARRIAGE.

9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness.

Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.

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Stages of an Orkut account :)

Stages of an Orkut account!!!

 

Pappu (real name "Nilesh") opens an Orkut account.

 

Stage 1:
Pappu is called as "Pappu" and is 16 years old, have just cleared 10th standard exam. He opens an Orkut account.

 

About Me: Some "sher" explaining friendship and love.
Profile picture: Hritik or Shahid's photo
Album: Katrina, Ayesha Takia, Amrita Raos photos, Pics of Shah Rukh Khans home
Scraps: More "sher"s explaining all the philosophy in the world and claiming that Friendship and Love are the most important things in life.
Friends: Invitation sent to each and everyone on Orkut.
Communities: 10th standard batch community, Some brazilian community, Tendulkar / Federer fan community, Sunsign / Moonsign community
Testimonial: Messages like "hoz u" / "wch col" / "hi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... u thr ..... tc" will be in the testimonials.

 

Stage 2:
Pappu has completed his bachelors. He is now called as Nilesh by everyone. He has got a job in a good company.

 

About Me: Only in this stage about me is really "About me". Its full of what Nilesh likes, what he doesnt like, what he does in his spare time etc etc.
Profile pic: Nilesh wearing goggle on some fort / tourist spot.
Album: Nilesh and gang visiting each and every Multiplex / Fort / Water Fall in 100 km radius on bike.
Scraps: Mainly this scrap from Girls "Do I know you ?"
Friends: All the school, college batch mates, all the girls who are open to accept friend requests
Communities: "Name Beginning with", "Surname beginning with", Company community, College community
Testimonial: Testimonial claiming how is he the "GD" of at least three guys and how average he is and how he could be a good BF.

 

Stage 3:
Nilesh has now 5 years of work exp. He has been "onsite" once. His hair line is receding. And his parents are now "actively" looking for a girl for him.

 

About Me: A very formal about me. Telling everyone where he works and his age and his hobbies.
Profile pic: Nilesh in formals attending some cousins wedding / In front of some famous building in US
Album: Full of Onsite pics. This includes pics of the famous buildings, roads in US, bikes and cars in US, US hotel room photos
Scraps: Mainly scraps from girls looking for a good husband. Occasional scraps from school / college batch mates who are planning re union (which never happens)
Friends: Very few additions to the friend list. Mainly people from the company.
Communities: Community for his caste / sub caste
Testimonial: No new testimonials.

 

Stage 4 : 
Nilesh is now married for 2 months.

 

About Me: No about me.
Profile pic: Nilesh and his wife on honeymoon. Holding each other on some hill top.
Album: Full of Marriage and Honeymoon pics. In all the pics the couple is standing extremely close to each other. Very rarely anything other than the couple is seen in the pics.
Scraps: Scrap by almost everyone in the friend list congratulating on his marriage.
Friends: Additions to the friend list are people from his wifes family. Typically a "Saali" or "Saala".
Communities: No addition to the communities.
Testimonial: "Saali" writes testimonial for her "Jiju".

 

Stage 5:
Nilesh is now married for 2 years.

 

About Me: Some management / Philosophical/ "Self Help" type of funda.
Profile pic: The marriage pic.
Album: School and college farewell party, pics with the friends from first company when Nilesh’s waist was 28 (Now its 34 threatening to reach 36)
Scraps: Thank you scraps for the B'day wishes Nilesh has sent.
Friends: No additions to the friend list.
Communities: No addition to the communities.
Testimonial: No testimonials.

 

Stage 6:
Nilesh and his wife now have a baby.

 

About Me: Nothing.
Profile pic: Kids photo
Album: Only the kids snaps.
Scraps: "Congratulations for the Gods gift" type of scraps.
Friends: No additions.
Communities: No addition to the communities.
Testimonial: No testimonials.

 

And after this everything is about the Kid and Wife and Nilesh is not living for himself but he is living for his parents / wife / kids. Nowadays Nilesh spends more time on "LinkedIn" than on Orkut :)

 

 

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