TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF, ARE NOT:

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and  drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip!

2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't

1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first!