Do baatein

Do baatein hamesha yaad rakhna:

1. Pahli baat

Har insaan itna bura nahi hota jitna 'pan-card' aur 'aadhar card' mein dikhta hai. Aur itna achcha bhi nahi hota jitna 'facebook' aur 'whats app' per dikhta hai.

2. Aur dusri baat : 

Har aadmi itna bura nahi hota jitna uski 'biwi' usko samajhti hai... Aur itna achcha bhi nahi hota jitna uski 'maa' usko samajhti hai..

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10 Gurumantras for a cool life:

1. Money is not everything. There's also Mastercard & Visa.

2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.


3. Save water. Drink on the rocks.

4. Fruits/Salads are healthy. So leave them for the sick.

5. Books are holy. So don't touch them.

6. Don't shout in the class. It disturbs those who are sleeping.

7. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.

8. Hard work never killed anyone, but why take a chance.

9. Why do something today when it can be done tomorrow(by someone else).

10. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life.

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Latest PJs

A set of PJs:

Blocked...
Aaj kal ki ladkiyan choti choti baat pe chat account block kar deti hain... Few examples:

Boy: What's your Name??
Girl: Palak and you?
Boy: Paneer.
**BLOCKED!!!**

Girl : Hello I am Khusbu.
Boy: Khusbu ka dusra naam bharosa agarbati.... kone kone me khusbu faila de.
**Blocked**

Boy: Hi, what's your name??
Girl: Neha Singhal.
Boy: Oh.. I am also Single.
**Blocked**

Girl: What's UP?
Boy: Uttar Pradesh...
**blocked**

Girl: Tu soya hai...???
Boy: Nahi...! Schezwan hun..!
**Blocked Instantly**

Girl: I'm free tommorow!
Boy: Pehle kya paid thi??
**BLOCKED**

Boy: Aj mausam achha hai, Mall chalte hain.
Girl: Waha kya karenge??
Boy: Hawan karenge, hawan karenge.
**Blocked**

Girl: See ya!
Boy: Ram Chandra ki jai!
**Blocked**

Girl: Have a Good Day....
Boy: No thank you... I like Parle-G more...
**BLOCKED**

Girl: I need some Space.
Boy: Ok then go to Sonakshi Sinha's forehead.
**Blocked**

Girl puts up her status: Waiting for CHENNAI EXPRESS...
Boy: COOLIE hai kya??
**Blocked**

Boy: Thank you.
Girl: It's my Pleasure.
Boy: My Bajaj Pulsar.
**Blocked Forever*

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Parenting Education for new Parents :-) Funny

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Funny Jokes and SMS

BOY to GIRL :
"Look Into my eyes, what do u see...?
..
GIRL:
True Love !!...
.
.
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BOY :
Oo Juliet Ki Amma .. !!!
kuch aankh mein chala gaya hai
Jaldi nikaal......

*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

Why does Wahida Rehaman never change her Saree in d film GUIDE?
Bcoz, Dev Anand Says:

O Mere Humrahi

Meri Baah Thame Chalna

Badle Duniya

"SAREE"

Tum Na Badalna..

*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

Doctor:"Kya takleef hai.. ??
.
Pappu:"Seenay me Bohot dard ho Raha hai..
.
Doctor:"Cigrette Peety ho..??
.
.
Pappu:"
.
.
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Han Par
"Gold Flake"hi Mangwana...

*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

Banta: Aap ko kabhi kisi se pyar hua hai?
Santa: Haan yaar, par woh maanti hi nahi..
Banta: Kyun? Kya kehti hai?
Santa: Kehti hai 'I LOVE YOU 2'. Pata nahi saala ye doosra kaun hai...

*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

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Funny Laws of Fun

LAWS OF FUN

1) Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

2) Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.

3) Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

4) Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

6) Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7) Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8) Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9) Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10) Theatre Rule: People with the seats at the furthest from the screen arrive last.

11) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold.

12) Law of Proposal : After u accept a proposal you will get a better one..

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Latest Jokes

Listening to wife is like reading the terms and conditions of website. You understand nothing, still you say...

"I Agree" ... ... !!

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All my life I kept on believing that ..... air is for free....
until
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.
.
.
I bought a BAG of CHIPS ;)

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Pakistani PM: Nawaz Sharif.

Indian PM: Na-Awaz Na-Sharif.

Hmmm. #TheekHai

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vodka + water = injures kidney

rum + water = injures liver

whiskey + water = injures heart

gin + water = injures brain .

I think there is something
wrong in water !!

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