Hilarious Medical situations
Monday, July 24, 2017
*Hilarious Medical situations*
1. A man comes into the ER & yells, 'My wife's goin to have
her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
lady's dress & began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there
were several cabs . . . And I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I
placed a stethoscope on an elderly & slightly deaf female patient's
anterior chest wall. Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . .
replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle, WASHINGTON
3. One day I had to be the bearer
of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive
myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to
the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. While acquainting myself with
a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?' After a
look of complete confusion she answered, ' Why, not for about twenty years -
when my husband was alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson,
Corvallis, OREGON
Corvallis, OREGON
5. A nurse was on duty in the
Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker
Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, & wearing strange clothing, entered.
It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the
operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green &
above it there was a tattoo that read 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery
was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which
said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY . . . . THE FUNNIEST
A woman & a baby were in the
doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first
exam. The doctor arrived, & examined the baby, checked his weight. Being a
little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,'
she replied...
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional & detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his grandma, but I'm glad I came.'
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional & detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
'I know,' she said, 'I'm his grandma, but I'm glad I came.'
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