Funny Quotes - 5

• Long back,A person who sacrificed his sleep,Forgot his family,Forgot his food,Forgot laughter were called "Saints"
  But now they are called...
  "IT professionals"
  
• An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:"
  If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
  
• Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
  Love is always present..Its just that,
  One loves too much,
  and
  The other loves too many,
  
• Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
  BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!
  
• Philosophy of life
  At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
  Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
  
• What is a Fear?
  Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
  When pages of your book still smell new and
  Just few hours left for your exams..!
  
• Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask more questions that a wise mancannot answer" No wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
  
• Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
  Shopkeeper: Oh sure..!!! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
  Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
  
• After reading the form filled by an applicant..
  The employer said: " WE dohave an opening for you..!
  Applicant: What is it?
  Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
  
• A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
  Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee.
  ....... Leave them to us
  

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Funny Quotes - 4

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is likeexpecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,but what we are inside
. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are eitherillegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal NehruWe should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu ki ya chacha ki???

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.Which makes it a logical statement that90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

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Funny Quotes - 3

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

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Funny Quotes - 2

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

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Funny Quotes - 1

• Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and itSeems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for anHour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'SRelativity.- Albert Einstein
  
• The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts workingThe moment you get up in the morning and does notStop until you get into the office.- Robert Frost
  
• The trouble with being punctual is that nobody'sThere to appreciate it.- Franklin P. Jones
• We must believe in luck. For how else can we explainThe success of those we don't like?- Jean Cocturan
• It matters not whether you win or lose; whatMatters is whether I win or lose.- Darrin Weinberg
• Life is pleasant.Death is peaceful.It's the transition that's troublesome.
• Help a man when he is in trouble and he willRemember you when he isIn trouble again.
• Complex problems have simple, easy to understand Wrong answers.
• It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider itCreative problem solving.
• Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know Where to shop.
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,Neither does milk.
• Most people are only alive because it is illegal toShoot them.
• Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
• The number of people watching you is directly Proportional to the stupidity of your action.
  

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