Jokes

She don’t know how to use:

 

As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast- feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing.

After mulling over my answers, she remarked, "My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them."

She Has Destroyed My Golf Passion
 

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed my golf bag, tried not to wake my wife, sneaked quietly into the garage and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

Disappointed I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and sneaked back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out there playing golf in that terrible weather?'

I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped playing golf. L

Read more...

Political Values

Political Values
 
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25
 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of
 the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give
 a little speech at the dinner.
 
He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words
 while they waited. "I got my first impression of the parish
 from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been
 assigned to a terrible place. The very first person to enter
 my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and,
 when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of
 it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his
 employer, had an affair with his boss' wife, taken illegal
 drugs and pickled his liver with drink.
 
I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people
 were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine
 parish full of good and loving people."
 
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived
 full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make
 the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the
 first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician.
 "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him
 in confession."

Read more...

DoBRA mat poochna

Q: Which is the striped BRA?
zeBRA

Q: Poisonous BRA?
coBRA

Q: Mathematical BRA?
algeBRA

Q: Sunsign BRA?
liBRA

Q: Magical BRA?
aaBRA ka daBRA


Q: Religious BRA
BRA hmin!


Q: Metallic bra
BRAss


Q: Anjelina jolly' Bra
BRAd pit...


Q: Botany BRA
BRAnch


Q: Marketing BRA
BRAnd!




Q: AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL BRA
BRAaak Obama


Q: puctuation k liye bra
BRAcket




Q: Scary bra....
GhaBRAahat!!!!


Q: Cricketers ka bra
BRAdd hogg


Q: How does d donkey cry...
BRAAAAA!!
Braaaaa!!
Braaaaaaaaaa!!!




Q: a room where BRA's are kept..
LiBRAry




Q: Bra which became the american president and inspired the whole world,
aBRAham Lincoln!




Q: The BRA which holds the record for most no of T20 runs in an innings?
BRAndon McCullum.


Q: which bra is very important for any vehicle
BRAke




Ab mujhse DuBRA (dubaara) mat poochna

Read more...

English Can Be Fun

English Can Be Fun

People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate
with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the world :

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR
CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Outside a French second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR
FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE
DOOR, THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY
SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco :
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE
WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD
WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

In a Calcutta Coffee House:
PEOPLE DISCARDING CIGARETTE STUBS IN CUPS WILL
BE SERVED COFFEE IN ASH TRAYS

Read more...