Santa Banta

Steve Jobs' last words: "Dear Santa & Banta, please note that iPill is not our product and iPad is not a sanitary napkin!"

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Santa is Back

• Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi? Girl: Tameez se baat karo.. Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge? • Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do! • Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!" Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE! • Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de. Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai. • Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ? • Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything? Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!! • Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me? Banta: Don't know... Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his! • Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. • Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena ... Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho? Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai! • Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise? Rikshawala: 10 Rs Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega? Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon. • Santa bought a car on loan..... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also! • Banta mujra dekhne gaya , sari raat mujra dekha. Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo. Banta utha or khud nachne laga.. • Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on d road. Traffic inspector stopped him. Banta: I'm learning car driving. Inspector: Without d instructor? Banta: Correspondence Course!

 

 

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Santa Banta Fresh Stock

Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.

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Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop
it..!!!

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Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.

Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.

Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.

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Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?

Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

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Santa:
Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?

Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko
nahi.

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Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.

Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.

Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.

Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.

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Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?

Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use
pehchan nahin pa raha

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Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.

Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.

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Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.

Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga...

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Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.

Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?

Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.

Santa: Phir?

Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !

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Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..!

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Santa Banta Continues...

Santa talking on cell.Banta: kis se baat kar raho ho.
Santa: biwi se.....
Banta: itne... pyar se....?
Santa: tumhari hai. . .!!!


Sardar's Son - Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..

Sardar was travling in train,
A woman sat on his son's berth & didn't getup...
Sardar shouted:"THIS LADY IS NOT GIVING BIRTH TO MY CHILD !"


Santa goes to hotel & orders Omlette..
Waiter :french or spanish ?
Santa: jera marji le aa,Main kehra galan karniya ne...

Santa Singh sends sms to all his friends..."My cell no. has changed.. earlier it was Nokia 1100 .. now it is Nokia 6600"

NASA ne 3sardar chaand pe bheje.Rocket uda,magar aadhe raste se vapas!
Jab sardaro ko pucha gaya,toh unhone kaha:'AAJ AMAWAS HAi,CHAAND TO HOGA Hi NAHi NA'!!

Santa-yaar kal main tenu kini waar phone kita par tu nahi chukiya.
Banta-kyon chukan, jehda main 30 Rupaiye de ke gaana luwaya hai, ohnu tera peo sunuga. ...

Santa:Preeto chal honeymoon te chaliye
Preeto:main velli nahi,main halle kapde v dhone e,te pande vi manjne e,tusi beeji nu le jao.

Santa- yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya dun ?
Banta- Gold ring de de
Santa- koi badi cheez bata
Banta- M.R.F ka tyre de de. .

Santa: oye tera viah ho gaya?
Banta: haan.Santa: kuri naal?
Banta: oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: haan, meri behen da hoya si....!

SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon
Gurdware waleyan ne e elan kita hai k gurdware ch 5,10,20,50,100,500,de note nahi chadae jange. . .....KyonKi...GANDHI de sir te rumal nahi hai .

English teacher: "One cute and young girl is walking on the road." Change this into an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- "Oye,pataka !"

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

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