Marriage ke Side Effects

 “When a man holds a woman hands?”

When a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it is love;  after marriage it is self-defense

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Man before Marriage is like Airtel…. “Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”

After Marriage He’s Like Hutch… “Whereever U Go Our Network Follows.”

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What is Marriage?
Ans:
1 year:-Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha Na Jaye.
2 year:- KINETIC-Sab ki hawa Nikal de.
3 year:-CHLORMINT- DOBARA MAT PUCHNA…..
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Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
the only element of life.
We should also know horror,
terror, suspense, irony,
stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.

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What a married man says after years of marriage:-
My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding, she doesn’t Trust me & I dont Understand her.
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Golden Rule:-
‘To be happy with a man,
love him little and understand him a lot.

To be happy with a woman,
love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand her

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*Love b4 Marriage*
Janu…tum nahi to main nahi,
main nahi to tum nahi…

*Love after Marriage*
“bagairat”…Aj tu nahi ya main nahi

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Boy friend is fun,
&
Husband is gun,

Boy friend is light of moon,
&
Husband is month of june,

Boy friend is tooty fruity,
&
Husband is qismat phooti

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Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Banta reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

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True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.

Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!

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Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

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Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.

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If Columbus had been married?

If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America, because he would have had to answer all the following questions:

Where are you going?

With whom?

Why?

How are you going?

To discover what?

Why only you?

What do I do when you are not here?

Can I come with you?

When will you be back?

Will you be home for dinner?

What will you bring for me?

You deliberately made this plan without me, didn't you?

You seem to be making a lot of these programs lately...

Answer me why?

I want to go to my mother's house.

I want you to drop me there.

I don't want to come back ever!

What do you mean, OK?

Why aren't you stopping me?

I don't understand what this whole 'discovery' thing is about.

You always do things like this.

Last time also you did the same thing!

Nowadays you always seem to do this kind of stuff.

I still don't understand what else is left to be discovered

 

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40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For

being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!....the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful #@&%$#* should remember fairies are female.

SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH....
AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!

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A tribute to all - Married, Semi-Married, Aspiring

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.
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If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.
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Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

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