Naughty SMS - 4

78. When A Man Steals Your Wife, There Is No Better Revenge Than To Let Him Keep Her.
79. Eighty Percent Of Married Men Cheat In America, The Rest Cheat In Europe.
80. After Marriage, Husband And Wife Become Two Sides Of A Coin. They Can't Face Each Other, But Still They Stay Together.
81. Marriage Is When A Man And A Woman Become One.The Trouble Starts When They Try To Decide Which One.
82. Before Marriage, A Man "Yearns" For The Woman he Loves. After The Marriage The "Y" Becomes Silent.
83. "I Married Miss Right, I Just Didn't Know Her First Name Was Always."
84. It's Not True That Married Men Live Longer Than Single Men. It Only Seems Longer.
85. Losing A Wife Can Be Hard. In My Case, It Was Almost Impossible.
86. WIFE: Let's Go Out And Have Some Fun Tonight.HUSBAND: OK, But If You Get Home Before I Do, Leave The Hallway Lights On.
87. At A Cocktail Party, One Woman Said To Another:"AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?"The Other Replied, "YES, I AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN."
88. Man Is Incomplete Until He Gets Married, Then He Is Finished.
89. It Doesn't Matter How Often A Married Man Changes His Job, He Still Ends Up With The Same Boss.
90. A Man Inserted An Ad In The Paper - "WIFE WANTED".The Next Day He Received A Hundred Letters And They All Said The Same Thing:"YOU CAN HAVE MINE."
91. When A Man Opens The Door Of His Car For His Wife, You Can Be Sure Of One Thing - Either The Car Or The Wife Is New.
92. "Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows.""But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"
93. Women are confusing...Before marriage they expect a man, after marriage they suspect a man, after he dies they respect the man.
94. What is defference between man and Superman? Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
95. Sailor (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
96. Sign in wallpaper and paint store: "Husbands choosing colors must have note from wives"
97. How do you stop a Pakistani tank? Shoot the guys pushing it.
98. On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god...after that the letters reversed
99. What are the signs of iron deficiency? Crumpled clothes.
100. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now.
101. The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

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Naughty SMS - 3

51. When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
52. Man's greatest enemy is alcohol, but the Bible says," Love thy enemy!".
53. Eve to Adam: Do you love me? Adam nonchalantly: Who else?.
54. Women are like computers... as soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
55. I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
56. On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god... after that the letters reversed.
57. "Darling," said Banta to his new bride,"Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my small income?""Of course, dearest, no trouble," she replied. "But what will you live on?"
58. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner".
59. A cardiologist marries a gynecologist and were blessed with twin girls. Guess what they name them - Angina and Vagina.
60. A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank. The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake". "Oh no!"exclaimed the prostitute,"I have been raped".
61. What is common between a swimming pool and a wife -for both we pay high
maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
62. Why did Mahtama Gandhi never wore an underwear?He beleived in freedom movement?
63. Why India has never had a female President?What would you call her - Rashtra(patni)?
64. What do you call a parsi test tube baby ? Battliboi.
65. What do you call prostitutes in Pakistan ? La-whore.
66. Marriage Is Not A Word. It's A Sentence (A Life Sentence To Be More Precise).
67. Marriage Is Love. Love Is Blind. Therefore Marriage Is An Institution for the Blinds.
68. Marriage Is An Institution In Which A Man Loses His Bachelor's Degree And The Woman Gets Her Masters.
69. Getting Married Is Very Much Like Going To A restaurant With Friends.You Order What You Want, And When You See What The other Person Has, You Wish You Had Ordered That Instead.
70. There Was This Man Who Muttered A Few Words In The Church And Found Himself Married. A Year Later He Muttered Something In His Sleep And found Himself Divorced.
71. A Happy Marriage Is A Matter Of Giving And Taking;"The Husband Gives And The Wife Takes."
72. Son: How Much Does It Cost To Get Married, Dad?Father: I Don't Know Son, I'm Still Paying For It.
73. Son: Is It True Dad? I Heard That In Ancient China, A Man Doesn't Know His Wife Until He Marries Her.Father: That's True Everywhere, Son,EVERYWHERE!
74. Love Is One Long Sweet Dream, And Marriage Is The Alarm Clock.
75. They Say That When A Man Holds A Woman's Hand Before Marriage, It Is Love; After Marriage It Is Self-Defense.
76. When A Newly Married Man Looks Happy, We Know Why. But When A 10 Year Married Man Looks Happy, We Wonder Why?
77. Confucius Says: Man Who Sinks Into A Woman's Arm Soon Have Arms In Woman's Sink.

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Naughty SMS - 2

27. Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?" "Sure." Give me a green one, please.
28. Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed.
29. Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?”One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day"
30. A boy meets her girlfriend. They both are in deep love. When they go 2 kiss suddenly a dog come and kisses the girl. Why? Bcoz wherever u go our network follows.
31. Old man enterd in PCO. The girl asked “babaji kithe karna hai”. The man replied kursian te ta okha hoju thalle hee boriya bicha le.
32. My dear friend the best quality I like about you is that u r very sentimental… ………… 1% senti .. 99% mental.
33. ------------------------------------- got confused!!! Are yaar tumhe line maar raha hu.
34. Heartbeats are countless,spirits r ageless,dreams r endless,memories r timeless. A friend like u is shameless..oops priceless.
35. Falling in luv is sweet ambition,finding true luv is life time mission, take my word n follow the Indian tradition and marry ur dad’s ugly decision.
36. A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of luv, a laugh is a sign of happiness& a friend like is a sign of “Damn Good Luck”.
37. How ho bow bow aaaooo bow aeee aee bow bow how bow bow how bow… u clear the doggy test.Contact if u wanna be a pet.
38. bandh do 2-4 botle kafan mein kabr mein baith kar piya karenge. Jab mangega khuda gunaho ka hisab to 2-3 peg use bhi diya karenege.
39. I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!
40. Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart, You are blessed with both! FLATTERED?. Don't Be,it was sent to me, I just wanted you to read it.
41. From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been........... a headache!
42. 1 day u'll B srprisd 2C ME beside U. U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME... just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.
43. I cannot hide this from u any more. I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel it's best if tell u, before you hear it from someone else ..... Potato Prices Have gone Up !
44. Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently? Mind u - it's really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp .....I'm playing cards and we've misplaced the JOKER.
45. Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin", chand ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".
46. Zindagi mein tum bahut aage jaaoge, kyonki jahan bhi tum jaooge, sab kahenge, chal be chal aage chal.
47. Why did sachin marry a older woman? Because a good batsman likes loose balls!
48. Why did kumble marry a divorcee? Because good spinners likes used balls
49. Why did it not work out between saurav and nagma because he does not like to play swinging balls and never plays on the leg side.
50. Azaruddin asks sangeeta bijlani after their first night, " how was the shot between two fine legs?" she says" shot was good, but you r not the opening batsman"

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Naughty SMS - 1

1. Mom asks her daughter, ”do u know the meaning of mangalsutra?” Daughter replies, “Yes! License to enjoy kamasutra.”
2. This time I’m really sure about my feelings and I’m going to say it to u… I..I..I lo I lo lo lo I lo I love love y I love your messages.
3. Aaj pyaar, kal deedar,parso yaar, phir ikrar,phir inkar,phir takrar,saari mehnat bekaraur aakhir mein ek aur devdas at bar.
4. Why madras is named Chennai? Coz madrasis wear lungi in which there is no zip…, Chen Nai samjhe.
5. U n Me do it in the bed, do it in car, in sitting, in standing,isn’t it best doing it lying down, hey don’t we do SMS in all these positions.
6. Itne saalon ke baad bhi who hame dekh kar muskurate hai…, sale bacche hee kamine hai jo mama mama chillate hai…!
7. Jab tum is duniya se door jaaogedoor kahin ek naya janam paaoge, is baar jo galtee se hua so hua, agli baar ek lambi pooch aur chaar tange paaoge.
8. aap jab haste ho to pata chalta hai insaan pehle Bandar tha. ANGRY. Par aap jab angry hote ho to pata chalta hai insaan aaj bhi Bandar hai.
9. If u read this I’m smart, if u save this u agree that I’m smart, if u forward this u r spreading that I’m smart and if u delete this u r jealous, coz I’m smart.
10. Daru se nasha badta hai, nashe se junoon,junoon se mehnat, mehnat se paisa, paise se izzat. Isiliye izzat pane ke liye daru peena jaroori hai
11. tumhare naam ki gazalein chaand par likhne ko jee chahta hai… par kya karoon yeh jaalim khwab amawas ki raat ko hee aata hai.
12. We have known each other 4 quite a whilenow, do u think we can be more than friends? Coz I like u very much to b my partner 2 rob a bank 2nite.
13. boss gave a miniskirt to secretary as first month salary. In the second month he got impressed by her work and raised her first month salary.
14. a rose 4 u- rs10, a card 4 u- rs25, a movie 4 u- rs150, a diiner 4 u- rs 250, a person like u- priceless…… abbey chane ke jhaad par mat chad priceless matlab fokat.
15. not every flower can represent love but roses did it!not every tree can stand thirst but Cactus did it. Not every monkey can read but you did it.
16. do ladka ladki … aha! Raat ke andhere mein… aha! Jhari ke peeche…aha!daba daba ke…aha! Chus chus ke…aha! Frooti pe rahe the..aha!
17. when I c d stars I c u. when I c d moon I c u. when I c d sky I c u. when I c d trees I c u. baazu hat jao u r blocking d view.
18. shahjahan moorkh tha jo kar diya kharcha TAJ par… har raat ek nayi mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke byaz par.
19. aahat see koi aaye to lagta hai kit um ho, hawa koi lahraye to lagta hai kit um ho. Ab tumhi batao kyat um kisi bhoot se kam ho.
20. manzil ki taraf badte chalo, jo dil kahe usi par chalo, peeche walo ko aage mat jane do aur jo aage hai unse aage niklo tab acche truck driver bano.
21. sardar reads a poster outside police station. Wanted for rape and murder. He goes inside and says “sir I want to apply for this job”.
22. a man named his three kids NC,MC,ABC. Natural curiosity, mutual consent and absolute bloody carelessness.
23. Bandar ka beta apni maa se bola, maa main kitna badsurat hu. Uski Maa boli beta tu to phir bhi theek hai use dekh jo message pad raha hai.
24. This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat idiot cat busy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat. Read all without cat.
25. Khuda se manga phool to bagicha diya.Khuda se manga ghar to mahal diya.khuda se mange paise to aapka number diya, batao kab lene aau.
26. y does a man carry his wife’s photo in the wallet?Bcoz whenevr he faces any problem, he c d photo and thinks-if I can handle THIS I can handle nething.

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