SMS Mantra: Fun begins here: May 2009

Wonderful one minute...

Sunday, May 31, 2009

One smart Software engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards
Pune in a train.
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her
grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between Our Software
engineer & that girl.

After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very
dark.
Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my
grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine;
she immediately slapped that guy."

PM thought that," I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it
is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that," I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel
sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, the Software engineer thought?

"This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes...because, at a
time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."

Sardar Jokes - 2

Saturday, May 30, 2009

What do you call a sardar with one hair ?
Iqbal Singh.

What is the taxi service in Khalistan called ?
Kar Seva.

What is the national drink of Khalistan called ?
Sharbat Khalsa.

What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer ?
Just-beer Singh.

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink ?
Just-one Singh.

A female Khalistan terrorist?
Hard Kaur.

Khalistan history ..
SARSON-DA-SAGA

The great wall of khalistan ..
LONG-O-WALL (Former CM of Punjab -Longowal)

National dish of khalistan ..
AKALI-DAAL

The dirty drain of khalistan ..
BAR-NALA (Another CM of Punjab - Barnala)

A sikh scuba diver ..
JULL-UNDER SINGH (Jull means water)

A better adapted sikh diver ..
JULLUNDER SINGH GILL

A bald sardarjee ..
BAL-WANT SINGH

National Bird of Khalistan ..
Butter Chicken

One Two Three Four (1-2-3-4) [Ek Do Teen Char]

One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler. Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad. Three Tamilians is a classical music school. Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.

ANDHRAITES One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver. Two Andhraites is a spice shop. Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit. Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry.

BENGALIS One Bengali is a rosagulla shop. Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie. Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group. Four Bengalis is a Marxist movement.

MALAYALEES One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop. Two Malayalees is a boat race. Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket. Four Malayalees is an oil slick. RAJASTHANIS One

Rajasthani is a cattle-seller. Two Rajasthanis is a mason. Three Rajasthanis is a puppet show. Four Rajasthanis is a folk dance-drama.

GOANS One Goan is Remo Fernandes. Two Goans is a Feni distillery. Three Goans is a football club. Four Goans is an all-night-long beach party.

MANGALOREANS One Mangalorean is a supari seller. Two Mangaloreans can_t stand one another. Three Mangaloreans is a kamat restaurant. Four Mangaloreans is a fanatical Konkani Sabha.

BOMBAYITES One Bombayite is a hawker. Two Bombayites is a film industry. Three Bombayites is a slum. Four Bombayites is the rush-hour train crowd.

MAHARASHTRIANS One Maharashtrian is a bus conductor. Two Maharashtrians is a kabaddi match. Three Maharashtrians is a Ganpati procession. Four Maharashtrians is a Shiv Sena Shakha.

GUJARATIS One Gujarati is a share broker in a Mumbai train. Two Gujaratis is the total chatter in a Mumbai train. Three Gujaratis is a rummy game in a Mumbai train. Four Gujaratis is a dandiya-raas session all night long.

KUTCHIES One Kutchi is a kirana shop. Two Kutchis is a stationery shop. Three Kutchis is a saree shop. Four Kutchis is the entire Bombay retail trade.

SARDARJIS One Sardarji is a truck-driver. Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba. Three Sardarjis is a terrorist outfit. Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes.

SINDHIS One Sindhi is a currency racket. Two Sindhis is a papad factory. Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop. Four Sindhis is a lot of gas around.

BIHARIS One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav. Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad. Three Biharis is a caste category. Four Biharis is the total literate population of the state.

BHAIYYAS One Bhaiyya is a milkman. Two Bhaiyyas is a bhelwala / panipuri wala. Three Bhaiyyas is a temple-destruction squad. Four Bhaiyyas is a halwai shop. (And 12 Bhaiyyas is one SMALL family).

KASHMIRIS One Kashmiri is a boatman. Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory. Three Kashmiris is a tourist agency. Four Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit.

KANNADIGAS One Kannadiga is a coffee estate. Two Kannadigas is an Udupi restaurant. Three Kannadigas is a pepper powder factory. Four Kannadigas is an anti-Cauvery squad.

PUNJABIS One Punjabi is chhole-bathure 5 times a week. Two Punjabis is one bottle of whisky in one night. Three Punjabis is a public fistfight. Four Punjabis is 200 kg of excess weight.

PARSIS One Parsi is a sentence punctuated with BC_s and MC_s. Two Parsis is a doctor and a lawyer. Three Parsis is a 75-year-old man and his two unmarried sisters. Four Parsis is half their remaining population.

Marwari Jokes

How was wire invented?
Two marwaris spotted the same coin.

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A moment or two after a highway accident, an old Marwadi man came up to a woman lying by the roadside.

"Have the police come yet?" the man asked.

"No," the woman moaned.

"Has the ambulance been here yet?"

"No," the injured woman repeated.

"How about the insurance company?"
"No."

"Listen," the Marwadi said, bending down. "Do you mind if I lay down next to you?"

****************************************

A Marwari, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend.
He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.
While standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks.
It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening.
While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling.
He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man,
"Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"
The desert man replies, "You have to kill these things when they're small."

Tamil (Tamilian) Jokes

What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
I, Iyer, Iyengar.

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One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler. Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad. Three Tamilians is a classical music school. Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.

Parsi Jokes

An angry Parsi?
God-rage.(Godrej is a famous Parsi last name)

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PARSIS One Parsi is a sentence punctuated with BC_s and MC_s. Two Parsis is a doctor and a lawyer. Three Parsis is a 75-year-old man and his two unmarried sisters. Four Parsis is half their remaining population.

UP Jokes

A U.P. Botanist?
Agni-hot-tree.

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a son of 2 fathers .. Dvivedi
of 3 fathers .. Trivedi
of 4 fathers .. Chaturvedi
of 5 fathers .. Pandey
of several fathers .. Misra
of unknown parentage .. Gupta

Mallu (Malyalee) Jokes

What's a smart Malayalee called?
Debo-nair.

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An extraordinary malayalee ..
PHENO-MENON

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A smart and extraordinary malayalee ..
VIJI-MENON

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How do u identify a Mallu?
Zimply.

Gujju (Gujrati) Jokes - 1

Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.

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A Gujju Business house?
Kalabhai-Salabhai.

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Why did the Gujju go to Rome?
To listen to Pop(e) music.

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An (Bahraini) Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood.

The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.

The Arab replied “Bapu…..now I have Gujju blood in my veins!”

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Kanjibhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers.

Kanjibhai was not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him.

After the printer had presented Kanjibhai with a draft , Kanjibhai quickly pointed out that the " RSVP " was missing .

The printer was surprised by Kanjibhai's knowledge and asked him if Kanjibhai knew what it meant.

Kanjibhai started to think and after much thought he replied :

"Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send wedding Present!"

Bengali Jokes

What did a Bengali voyeur say to another?
Keyhollo?

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What do u call a firebrand Bong?
Gun-goli.

Jat / Jaat / Jatt Jokes

Baniya bola JAT ka matlab "Just Avoid Them" to Jat jawab deta hai nahi JAT ka matlab "Just Adore Them"

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Pada Likha Jat aur Solah duni Aath

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Once a jaat was passing from jumgle.
suddenly a chudail appears...
chudail:ha ha ha main chudail hoon...
jaat:to reee .. dekh kya rahi hai.. chipat ja phir

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Ek baar ek ghar mein ek jaat, ek sardar or ek baniya rahte the. ek din unke ghar 5 daku aa gaye. to sardar bola 2 ko main nahi chhodunga, to jat bola 2 ko main nahi chhodunga. baniya bola bhai sardar 2 ko tu or jat 2 ko tu nahi chhodega or jo bacha ek wo maine nahi chhodega

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teacher: kaal kyo koni aayo re... (you were absent yesterday)
student: kutio khaygio... (dog bite me.)
teacher: dikha. (to legs)
student: dekho... (please)
teacher: ghaav ro koi nisan to koni.. (there is no hack in legs)
student: kutio "BOKLHO" ho. (dog has no teeths)

Physics Jokes

Friday, May 29, 2009

All electrons were having a party but protons attacked them..

A hero comes and saves them.

All electrons ask him "Who are you?"

He Says
......

"My name is BOND ........... COVALENT BOND"

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Once all the scientists die and go to heaven............
They decide to play hide-n-seek..........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........
He is supposed to count up to 100...
and then start searching.....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton .........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of

Einstein...........

Einstein's counting
1,2,3......97,98,99.....100... .....
He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's.....out......"
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton ......

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton
.............
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared.....
That makes me Newton per meter squared.......
since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore
Pascal is OUT..........

****************************************************************************
*******************

Once 'Constant' and e^x ( e raised to x) were walking down the road.
Suddenly 'Constant' screamed and said:
"I m going bcoz 'Differential' is coming and if he sees me he will eliminate
me."
But e^x stands firm in front of ' Differential' and says:
"U can't do anything with me. I m e^x and will always be e^x."
'Differential starts laughing??..

Why??
...

Differential says: " I m not d/dx, I m d/dy."

Dddeadly P.J. (PJs ka baap) !!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Question:
You are in a boat in the middle of a river.
You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette.
You don't have anything else with you in the boat?
How will you do it?

Answer:
Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become
LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette
another deadly answer. Scroll down a little

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....
....
....
....

Another solution:
You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the
matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down.
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....
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....
....

Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee."

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".
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....
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If that was not enough even uptill now, one more deadly answer....

Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"

Mom's Advice to Son

Every Mom's advice to her son...........

1960's Mom to her son - beta, apne caste ki ladki se hi shaadi karna

1970's.......................... Apne religion ki ladki se hi shaadi karna

1980's ......................... Apne level ki ladki se hi shaadi karna

1990's ......................... Apne desh ki ladki se hi shaadi karna

2000 ......................... Apni umar ki ladki se hi shaadi karna

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2009 ......................... Koi bhi ho, par LADKI se hi shaadi karna.............. !!!

Cost Cutting in Recession Time .....

Monday, May 25, 2009

Sardar is back.........Balle...Balle...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Sardar is back with a bang..So have a nice time reading these ticklers.

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,
1st Sardar: chal police ko dey key aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki ek hi mila tha

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Sardar and Police
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hans rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

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Doctor And Sardar .
Sardar 2 doctor: Mujhe 1 problem hai
Dr: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta
Dr: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt

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Sardar and Home
Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun

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Sardar and prayer
A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 lottery
ticket to le le"

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Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?
Sardar bola, Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

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Sardar and Hitler
Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha
na"

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Sardar and Computer

Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

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Two Sardars
1st sardar: o yar agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ke banda soo hi jaye

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Sardar standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.

One Man: Sardar u'll die.

Sardar: Oy tu marega, suna nahi train platform par arahi hi...

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Sardar and Practical Exam
In bio practical:
Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

New Virus Found...

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Why mother's day ????

Why mother is so special ?

When I came home in the rain,

Brother asked why didn't you take an umbrella.

Sister advised, Why didn't you wait till rain stopped.

Father angrily warned, only after getting cold, you will realize.
.

.

.

But Mother, while drying my hair, said, stupid rain! Couldn't it wait,
till my child came home?

That's MOM

Tax structure in India - Funny but true!!!

Monday, May 18, 2009

TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

1) Qus : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

18) Qus.: How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN :: can i die now??
Ans :: wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!

What a "Touching" Moment !!!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Naughty SMS - 4

78. When A Man Steals Your Wife, There Is No Better Revenge Than To Let Him Keep Her.
79. Eighty Percent Of Married Men Cheat In America, The Rest Cheat In Europe.
80. After Marriage, Husband And Wife Become Two Sides Of A Coin. They Can't Face Each Other, But Still They Stay Together.
81. Marriage Is When A Man And A Woman Become One.The Trouble Starts When They Try To Decide Which One.
82. Before Marriage, A Man "Yearns" For The Woman he Loves. After The Marriage The "Y" Becomes Silent.
83. "I Married Miss Right, I Just Didn't Know Her First Name Was Always."
84. It's Not True That Married Men Live Longer Than Single Men. It Only Seems Longer.
85. Losing A Wife Can Be Hard. In My Case, It Was Almost Impossible.
86. WIFE: Let's Go Out And Have Some Fun Tonight.HUSBAND: OK, But If You Get Home Before I Do, Leave The Hallway Lights On.
87. At A Cocktail Party, One Woman Said To Another:"AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?"The Other Replied, "YES, I AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN."
88. Man Is Incomplete Until He Gets Married, Then He Is Finished.
89. It Doesn't Matter How Often A Married Man Changes His Job, He Still Ends Up With The Same Boss.
90. A Man Inserted An Ad In The Paper - "WIFE WANTED".The Next Day He Received A Hundred Letters And They All Said The Same Thing:"YOU CAN HAVE MINE."
91. When A Man Opens The Door Of His Car For His Wife, You Can Be Sure Of One Thing - Either The Car Or The Wife Is New.
92. "Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles and sorrows.""But I don't have any, my love." "I said, when we get married"
93. Women are confusing...Before marriage they expect a man, after marriage they suspect a man, after he dies they respect the man.
94. What is defference between man and Superman? Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
95. Sailor (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
96. Sign in wallpaper and paint store: "Husbands choosing colors must have note from wives"
97. How do you stop a Pakistani tank? Shoot the guys pushing it.
98. On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god...after that the letters reversed
99. What are the signs of iron deficiency? Crumpled clothes.
100. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now.
101. The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Naughty SMS - 3

51. When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
52. Man's greatest enemy is alcohol, but the Bible says," Love thy enemy!".
53. Eve to Adam: Do you love me? Adam nonchalantly: Who else?.
54. Women are like computers... as soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
55. I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
56. On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god... after that the letters reversed.
57. "Darling," said Banta to his new bride,"Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my small income?""Of course, dearest, no trouble," she replied. "But what will you live on?"
58. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner".
59. A cardiologist marries a gynecologist and were blessed with twin girls. Guess what they name them - Angina and Vagina.
60. A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank. The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake". "Oh no!"exclaimed the prostitute,"I have been raped".
61. What is common between a swimming pool and a wife -for both we pay high
maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
62. Why did Mahtama Gandhi never wore an underwear?He beleived in freedom movement?
63. Why India has never had a female President?What would you call her - Rashtra(patni)?
64. What do you call a parsi test tube baby ? Battliboi.
65. What do you call prostitutes in Pakistan ? La-whore.
66. Marriage Is Not A Word. It's A Sentence (A Life Sentence To Be More Precise).
67. Marriage Is Love. Love Is Blind. Therefore Marriage Is An Institution for the Blinds.
68. Marriage Is An Institution In Which A Man Loses His Bachelor's Degree And The Woman Gets Her Masters.
69. Getting Married Is Very Much Like Going To A restaurant With Friends.You Order What You Want, And When You See What The other Person Has, You Wish You Had Ordered That Instead.
70. There Was This Man Who Muttered A Few Words In The Church And Found Himself Married. A Year Later He Muttered Something In His Sleep And found Himself Divorced.
71. A Happy Marriage Is A Matter Of Giving And Taking;"The Husband Gives And The Wife Takes."
72. Son: How Much Does It Cost To Get Married, Dad?Father: I Don't Know Son, I'm Still Paying For It.
73. Son: Is It True Dad? I Heard That In Ancient China, A Man Doesn't Know His Wife Until He Marries Her.Father: That's True Everywhere, Son,EVERYWHERE!
74. Love Is One Long Sweet Dream, And Marriage Is The Alarm Clock.
75. They Say That When A Man Holds A Woman's Hand Before Marriage, It Is Love; After Marriage It Is Self-Defense.
76. When A Newly Married Man Looks Happy, We Know Why. But When A 10 Year Married Man Looks Happy, We Wonder Why?
77. Confucius Says: Man Who Sinks Into A Woman's Arm Soon Have Arms In Woman's Sink.

Naughty SMS - 2

27. Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?" "Sure." Give me a green one, please.
28. Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed.
29. Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?”One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day"
30. A boy meets her girlfriend. They both are in deep love. When they go 2 kiss suddenly a dog come and kisses the girl. Why? Bcoz wherever u go our network follows.
31. Old man enterd in PCO. The girl asked “babaji kithe karna hai”. The man replied kursian te ta okha hoju thalle hee boriya bicha le.
32. My dear friend the best quality I like about you is that u r very sentimental… ………… 1% senti .. 99% mental.
33. ------------------------------------- got confused!!! Are yaar tumhe line maar raha hu.
34. Heartbeats are countless,spirits r ageless,dreams r endless,memories r timeless. A friend like u is shameless..oops priceless.
35. Falling in luv is sweet ambition,finding true luv is life time mission, take my word n follow the Indian tradition and marry ur dad’s ugly decision.
36. A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of luv, a laugh is a sign of happiness& a friend like is a sign of “Damn Good Luck”.
37. How ho bow bow aaaooo bow aeee aee bow bow how bow bow how bow… u clear the doggy test.Contact if u wanna be a pet.
38. bandh do 2-4 botle kafan mein kabr mein baith kar piya karenge. Jab mangega khuda gunaho ka hisab to 2-3 peg use bhi diya karenege.
39. I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!
40. Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart, You are blessed with both! FLATTERED?. Don't Be,it was sent to me, I just wanted you to read it.
41. From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been........... a headache!
42. 1 day u'll B srprisd 2C ME beside U. U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME... just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.
43. I cannot hide this from u any more. I don't want 2 hurt u and I feel it's best if tell u, before you hear it from someone else ..... Potato Prices Have gone Up !
44. Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently? Mind u - it's really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp .....I'm playing cards and we've misplaced the JOKER.
45. Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin", chand ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".
46. Zindagi mein tum bahut aage jaaoge, kyonki jahan bhi tum jaooge, sab kahenge, chal be chal aage chal.
47. Why did sachin marry a older woman? Because a good batsman likes loose balls!
48. Why did kumble marry a divorcee? Because good spinners likes used balls
49. Why did it not work out between saurav and nagma because he does not like to play swinging balls and never plays on the leg side.
50. Azaruddin asks sangeeta bijlani after their first night, " how was the shot between two fine legs?" she says" shot was good, but you r not the opening batsman"

Naughty SMS - 1

1. Mom asks her daughter, ”do u know the meaning of mangalsutra?” Daughter replies, “Yes! License to enjoy kamasutra.”
2. This time I’m really sure about my feelings and I’m going to say it to u… I..I..I lo I lo lo lo I lo I love love y I love your messages.
3. Aaj pyaar, kal deedar,parso yaar, phir ikrar,phir inkar,phir takrar,saari mehnat bekaraur aakhir mein ek aur devdas at bar.
4. Why madras is named Chennai? Coz madrasis wear lungi in which there is no zip…, Chen Nai samjhe.
5. U n Me do it in the bed, do it in car, in sitting, in standing,isn’t it best doing it lying down, hey don’t we do SMS in all these positions.
6. Itne saalon ke baad bhi who hame dekh kar muskurate hai…, sale bacche hee kamine hai jo mama mama chillate hai…!
7. Jab tum is duniya se door jaaogedoor kahin ek naya janam paaoge, is baar jo galtee se hua so hua, agli baar ek lambi pooch aur chaar tange paaoge.
8. aap jab haste ho to pata chalta hai insaan pehle Bandar tha. ANGRY. Par aap jab angry hote ho to pata chalta hai insaan aaj bhi Bandar hai.
9. If u read this I’m smart, if u save this u agree that I’m smart, if u forward this u r spreading that I’m smart and if u delete this u r jealous, coz I’m smart.
10. Daru se nasha badta hai, nashe se junoon,junoon se mehnat, mehnat se paisa, paise se izzat. Isiliye izzat pane ke liye daru peena jaroori hai
11. tumhare naam ki gazalein chaand par likhne ko jee chahta hai… par kya karoon yeh jaalim khwab amawas ki raat ko hee aata hai.
12. We have known each other 4 quite a whilenow, do u think we can be more than friends? Coz I like u very much to b my partner 2 rob a bank 2nite.
13. boss gave a miniskirt to secretary as first month salary. In the second month he got impressed by her work and raised her first month salary.
14. a rose 4 u- rs10, a card 4 u- rs25, a movie 4 u- rs150, a diiner 4 u- rs 250, a person like u- priceless…… abbey chane ke jhaad par mat chad priceless matlab fokat.
15. not every flower can represent love but roses did it!not every tree can stand thirst but Cactus did it. Not every monkey can read but you did it.
16. do ladka ladki … aha! Raat ke andhere mein… aha! Jhari ke peeche…aha!daba daba ke…aha! Chus chus ke…aha! Frooti pe rahe the..aha!
17. when I c d stars I c u. when I c d moon I c u. when I c d sky I c u. when I c d trees I c u. baazu hat jao u r blocking d view.
18. shahjahan moorkh tha jo kar diya kharcha TAJ par… har raat ek nayi mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke byaz par.
19. aahat see koi aaye to lagta hai kit um ho, hawa koi lahraye to lagta hai kit um ho. Ab tumhi batao kyat um kisi bhoot se kam ho.
20. manzil ki taraf badte chalo, jo dil kahe usi par chalo, peeche walo ko aage mat jane do aur jo aage hai unse aage niklo tab acche truck driver bano.
21. sardar reads a poster outside police station. Wanted for rape and murder. He goes inside and says “sir I want to apply for this job”.
22. a man named his three kids NC,MC,ABC. Natural curiosity, mutual consent and absolute bloody carelessness.
23. Bandar ka beta apni maa se bola, maa main kitna badsurat hu. Uski Maa boli beta tu to phir bhi theek hai use dekh jo message pad raha hai.
24. This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat idiot cat busy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat. Read all without cat.
25. Khuda se manga phool to bagicha diya.Khuda se manga ghar to mahal diya.khuda se mange paise to aapka number diya, batao kab lene aau.
26. y does a man carry his wife’s photo in the wallet?Bcoz whenevr he faces any problem, he c d photo and thinks-if I can handle THIS I can handle nething.

Romantic SMS - 10

1. The only abnormality is the inability to love.
2. tumhare intzar mein yeh aankh ab tak soi nahi. Ek arse yeh hasi ya royi nahi. Tumse bas dil ko ek baat kehni hai ki tumhari jaisi koi nahi.
3. dil ki galiyo mein koi gham na ho, hamari dosti kabhi kam na ho, bas yehi dua hai kit um khush raho kya pata kal ho ya na ho…
4. If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
5. Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything.
6. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
7. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life.
8. Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. My heart always see u.
9. Love builds bridges where there are none.
10. Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.
11. Where there is love there is life.
12. When I need real understanding. When I need someone to care. When I need someone to listen. I know u r always there my dear love…..
13. No shadows to depress u.Only joys to surround u. many friends to luv u. God himself to bless u.these r my wishes 4 u. Happy New Year.
14. b4 the sun sets on this year, b4 the memories fade and b4 the networks get jammed! Wishing u a very happy new year..
15. luv test: if u give me 1 missed call it means u luv me, 2 mc means luv me lot

Romantic SMS - 9

1. Apki zindgi mein kabhi koi gham na ho, apki aankhen kabhi aasuon se nam na ho, aapko mile zindgi ki har khushi, bhale hee us khushi mein hum ho na ho.
2. jab aapka msg aata hai mera rom-rom machal jata haiang ang mein gudgudi hoti hai. yeh msg ka kasoor nahi kambakht cell hee vibration par hota hai.
3. mere marne ke baad aye dost aasu na bahanayaad meri aaye aur kuch kehne ko jee chahe to seedhe upar chale aana.
4. when u r counting all ur friends, the oldest, best and new. I would like to stand by ur side and whisper 2 little words, “ME TOO”..
5. When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy.
6. The road to a friend's house is never long.
7. Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
8. A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
9. aapko ashirwad mile bado se, sahyog mile choto se, khushia mile jag se,pyar mile sab se, daulat mile rab se, yehi dua hai is dil se.
10. Mitha intezar te intzar naal yaar mitha, mitha yaar te yaar nal pyaar mitha, mitha pyaar te pyaar naal mithi sadi yaari. Esto mitha kuch nahi milna labh le dunia saari.
11. The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?
12. D se dosti, D se dushmani, D se dil, D se dard, D se dillagi, D se deewangi, par D se itni bhi door na ho jana ki S se SMS bhi na bhejo.
13. A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.
14. Shikayat na karta zamane sekoi, agar maan jata manane se koi, kisi ko na phir yaad karte, agar bhool jata bhulane se koi.
15. Earlier I thought I love you. But later I came to know that I was w………………. wonderfully Correct.

Romantic SMS - 8

1. 1960 girl: jiya bekarar hai aye bahar hai aaja mere sajna tera intezar hai. 2003 girl: jiya bekarar hai aaja more sajna warna doosra taiyar hai.
2. if I were to be anything in this world? I wud be ur tears. So I can be conceived in ur heart born in ur eyes, live on ur cheeks,& die on ur lips.
3. God is so wise that he never created people with price tagsbecause if he did I cudn’t afford a precious & dear person like u.
4. sawere twadi yaad aayi to twanu miss kita,dine yaad aayi te aur vi jyada miss kitajad raati yaad aayi te fir miss kita. Jad jaan te ban aayi te sms kita.
5. heartbeats r countless, spirits r ageless dreams r endless memories r timeless and some one like u is priceless.
6. There is only one terminal dignity -- love.
7. Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion.
8. The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.
9. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.
10. Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished.
11. Love means never having to say you're sorry.
12. If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
13. A relationship is like a garden. It’s beautiful when watered with luv, hugs, tears and cheers. But it dries up if left untouched.
14. ….to be disturbed by the beep of a phone only means that “SOMEHOW”, “SOMEWHERE”, “SOMEBODY” is thinking about u. at this very moment it’s me.
15. Spell FRIEND F find ways 2 comfort u R remembers 2 pray 4 u I inspires u E enjoys life with u N never 4gets u D dear its u.

Romantic SMS - 7

1. dil pe mat le……dil pe mat…le yaar…..dil….pe…mat…le….mat le….mat le…mat le yaar….thak gaya chal lele yaar.
2. tum, tum tum, haan tum, arre tum , haan bhai tum bas tum hi ho wo………jisse main …….. jhel nahi sakta.
3. u care 4 me, I care 4 u. u miss me, I miss u. u msg me, I msg u.u forget me, I’m sorry this is where I don’t match u.
4. shahjahan ne tajmahal ki har diwar ko dekha, har minar ko dekha, har kalin ko dekha, har khidki se dekha aur bola ….maa kasam bahut kharcha ho gaya.
5. namaskar yeh aakashwani ki Madhya ratri sewa hai. Isme hum logo ki neend kharab karte hai. Dhanyawad.
6. 2+2=4, a lot of ppl v ignore, but u r the one who always keeps on beating my heart’s door 
7. bin dekhe teri tasveer bana sakte hai, bin mile tera haal bata sakte hai, hai mere pyar mein itna dum teri aankho ke aasoo apni aankh se nikal sakte hai.
8. aasmaan ko neend aaye to sulao kaha, dharti ko maut aye to dafnau kahan sagar mein leher aaye to chupao kaha, jab tumhari yaad aaye to jao kaha.
9. if I get ur smile I don’t need flowers. If I get ur voice ,I dnt need music. If u speak to me , I dnt need nebdy. If u r my friend, I dnt need world.
10. friendship is wt I offered to u. peace is wt I pray 4 u. happiness is wt I wish 4 u. but rememberance is wt I need frm u.
11. it is true that luv is blind but friendship has a mind. It is true that u r far away from me but by the touch of this air ur presence I find.
12. a man named his three kids NC,MC,ABC. Natural curiosity, mutual consent and absolute bloody carelessness.

Romantic SMS - 6

1. a good friend is like a computer. He “ENTERS” ur life. “SAVES” u in his heart,”FORMATS” ur problems and never “DELETES”u from his MEMORY.
2. when I c d stars I c u. when I c d moon I c u. when I c d sky I c u. when I c d trees I c u. baazu hat jao u r blocking d view.
3. bandh do 2-4 botle kafan mein kabr mein baith kar piya karenge. Jab mangega khuda gunaho ka hisab to 2-3 peg use bhi diya karenege.
4. aahat see koi aaye to lagta hai kit um ho, hawa koi lahraye to lagta hai kit um ho. Ab tumhi batao kyat um kisi bhoot se kam ho.
5. aapko miss karma roz ki baat hai, yaad karna aadat ki baat hai, aapse door rehna kisamt ki baat hai, magar aapko jhelna himmat ki baat hai.
6. humne maanga tha saath unka wo judai ka gham de gaye. Hum yaado ke sahare jee lete wo bhool jane ki kasam de gaye.
7. yeh mat sochna ki hum bhool jayenge tumhe, door rehkar bhi chahenge tumhe,agar dost ban kar raas na aaye to bhoot ban kar darayenge tumhe.
8. roshni dekar doob jana koi suraj se seekhe,katon mein rehkar bhi khilna koi phoolon se seekhe.SMS padkar bhi reply na dena koi aapse seekhe.
9. I’d luv to take u for a dinner,make u sit beside the candlelight, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear “ pay the bill”.
10. kya aankhe hai kya baatein haikya chehra tumne paya hai..lagta hai jaise …peepal ke ped se koi bhoot utar aaya hai.
11. today, tomorrow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for u. u know whose….? Ur own stupid.
12. mausam behaal hai sur hai na taal hai, koi koi sms nahi bheja kya sms factory mein hartal hai.

Romantic SMS - 5

1. a rose 4 u- rs10, a card 4 u- rs25, a movie 4 u- rs150, a diiner 4 u- rs 250, a person like u- priceless……
2. dardedil sehna asan nahin hota, kimti cheez ke har koi kabil nahin hota, yeh rab ki meharbani hai warna hum jaisa dost har kisi ko haasil nahi hota.
3. kisi ki chaht par jinda rehne wale hum na the, kisi pe mar mitne wale hum na the,adapt see pad gayi tumhe yaad karne kee warna kisi ko yaad karne wale hum na the.
4. As the day turns into night keep ur worries out of sight. No matter how tough the world may seem u still deserve the ‘sweetest dream’. Good night!
5. dear tum kya jano gum kya hai kyonki tum to hamesha fevicol use karte ho.
6. positive thinking..little bird in the sky. U look up and it shits in ur eye. U don’t mind and u don’t cry. U just thank God that cows don’t fly.
7. life is for u death is 4 me. smiles r 4 u tears r 4 me.happiness is 4 u sorrows r 4 me. Everything is 4 u but u r 4 me. Plz remember me.
8. chand taro ka noor tujh par bares, har koi teri chaht ko tarse,teri jindgi mein aaye itni khusiya kit u ek gam pane ko tarse.
9. 2 love is a duty, 2 b loved is a success!2 b with someone u love is an achievement, 2 b with someone who loves u is LIFE!
10. howfrustratingitistoreceivemessageswithoutanypunctuationmark
sandyoutryreallytohardtofindthatitsjusttosaygoodnighttoyousweetdreams.
11. …………….1………..2…………………..3………………..4…………..5…….6….7…………..8……….9……………..10. Are gr8 yaar tumhe to panda aa gaya.
12. Paro ne kaha sharab peena chod do, maa ne kaha paro se milna chod do. Par mujhe batao tumse kisne kaha SMS karma chod do.

Romantic SMS - 4

1. ------------------------------------ got confused!!! Are yaar tumhe line maar raha hu.
2. mere marne ke baad mere jalne se pehle mere dil ko nikal lena. Kahin aisa na ho ke who bhi jal jaye jo mere dil mein rehte hai.
3. Sataoge humko, rulaoge humko, magar kis tarah bhula paoge humko! Khuda jane kya haal hoga tumhara jab gairon ki baahon mein paaoge humko.
4. hum raat ki tanhai mein tumhe awaz diya karte hai aur sitaron se aapka jikr kiya karte hai. Tum aao ya na aao khwabo mein hum aapka intezaar kiya karte hai.
5. din mein deep jalane se kya hoga.rakh mein aag lagane se kya hoga. Jinhe hamari yaad hee nahin aati,unhe sms bhejne se kya hoga.
6. where words fail, action speaks. Where action fails, eyes speaks. Where eyes fails, tears speaks& where everything fails silence speaks.
7. tumhare naam ki gazalein chaand par likhne ko jee chahta hai… par kya karoon yeh jaalim khwab amawas ki raat ko hee aata hai.
8. We have known each other 4 quite a while now, do u think we can be more than friends? Coz I like u very much to b my partner 2 rob a bank 2nite.
9. E mere SMS mere dost ke paas jana, agar who so raha ho to shor mat machana, jab who jage to dheere se muskurana aur kehna a very sweet gud morning.
10. no special reason for this message, I just wanna steal a single moment of your busy day and hope to make u smile when I say goodnight and sweet dreams.
11. u r abcdefghijk, a-attractive,b-brilliant,c-cute,d-dazzling,e-excellent,f-fun,g-great,h-hot,ijk-I’m just kidding.
12. kabhi to kee hogi suraj ne chand se mohabbat tabhi to chand mein daag hai, mumkin hai chand ne ki hogi bewafai tabhi to suraj mein aag hai.

Romantic SMS - 3

1. Hum aapki yaad mein udaas hai…bas aapse milne ki aas hai…chahe dost kitne hee kyo na ho..apne liye to aap hee khas hai
2. People say u only fall in luv once, but when I hear your voice I fall in luv with you again and again
3. Pyara sa ehsaas ho tum, har pal mere paas ho tum, jeene ki ek aas ho tum, mann ka ek vishwas ho tum, shayad isiliye kuch khaas ho tum
4. Hot Coffee!! Specially for you. I mixed it with one teaspoon of CARE, 2 teaspoon of LOVE and 3 teaspoon of HAPPINESS. Hope you have a great day.Good Morning.
5. Close your eyes save all the sweet memoriesin your heart… think of all the beautiful things in your life..and surrender yourself to sweet dreams. Good night.
6. COURT ORDER!! U r accused of coming into my life and hijacking my smiles with your cute SMS. Since u r found guilty u r sentenced to be my friend forever.
7. For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
8. Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
9. Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.
10. Nigahein apki pehchaan hai hamari, muskurahat apki shaan hai hamari. Rakhna hifazat tum apni, kyonki saas apki jaan hai hamari.
11. Mere dil jigar kidney liver ho tum, wakt bewakt aaye who fever ho tum, doobkar jisme kho jauwo river ho tum, jeevan mein ab to friend forever ho tum.
12. It was just an ordinary day, same routine same work… suddenly I think of you and it was no longer an ordinary day.
-

Romantic SMS - 1

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Nobody wants u, nobody loves u, nobody makes u happy, nobody misses u, nobody
wants gud things 4 u, nobody care abt u.. dont cry.. my name is Nobody.

Just go 2 hell!! Yes u! U only! coz only u can change hell into heaven by ur sweetness..!!

A kiss is just another reminder that two heads are better than one.

There is no need to celebrate. Everyday with you is a celebration.

What joy is there in drinking wine when I m intoxicated by your love...

Na mandir na bhagwan, na puja na snaan. Din hote hee hamara sabse pehla kaam, ek
pyara sa sms apne khas dost ke naam. Gud Morning.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

To the world u might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.

luv test: if u give me 1 missed call it means u luv me, 2 mc means luv me lot, 3 mc
means u luv me like crazy, and more means u r mine forever.

Khusboo ki tarah aapke paas bikhar jayeneg, sukoon bankar dil meiutar jayenge,
mehsus karne ki koshish to kijiye, door hote hue bhi paas nazar aayenge.

Instructions For Life - Do not read but implement !

Instructions For Life

§ Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

§ Memorize your favorite poem.

§ Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

§ When you say, “I love you”, mean it.

§ When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.
§ Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

§ Believe in love at first sight.

§ Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.

§ Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

§ In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
§ Don’t judge people by their relatives.

§ Talk slowly but think quickly.

§ When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”

§ Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

§ Call your mom.
§ Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.

§ When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

§ Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

§ Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

§ When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
§ Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

§ Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

§ Spend some time alone.

§ Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

§ Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
§ Read more books and watch less TV.

§ Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.

§ Trust in God but lock your car.

§ A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.

§ In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
§ Read between the lines.

§ Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

§ Be gentle with the earth.

§ Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

§ Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
§ Mind your own business.

§ Don’t trust a man/woman who doesn’t close his/her eyes when you kiss.

§ At least once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

§ If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.

§ Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
§ Learn the rules then break some.

§ Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

§ Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

§ Remember that your character is your destiny.

§ Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Bachpan ki yaadein...

When there was just not TV to pass-time..

When gulli-danda and kanche were more popular than WWF & Computer Games..

When we always had friends to play cricket, aaiis-paaiis, chhuppan-chhupaii, stepoo & pitthoo..

When we desperately waited for 'yeh jo hai jindagi', star-trek, giant robot..

When chitrahaar, vikram-baitaal, dada-dadi ki kahaniyaan were so fulfilling..

When bisleris were not sold in the trains and we worried if papas wud get back into the train on time when they get down at stations to fill up the water bottles..

When we were going to the bed by 9.00pm sharp..

When Holis meant hand-made 'gujiyas' and moms seeking our help while preparing them..

When our Maths teachers were not worried of our parents while slapping/beating us..

When we were exchanging comics and stamps and chacha-chowdhary, billu, pinky, archies, nagraj n super-commando dhruv were our fav characters..

When we were at Nanihaals every summer and loved being there even after holidays are over..

When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked for and serials like 'kahan gaye wo log', 'ek do teen chaar' and 'Rajni' inspired us..

When 1 rupee meant at least 10 toffees..

When left over pages of the last year's notebooks were used for rough work or even fair work..

When 'camlin', 'chelpark' and 'natraaj' were encouraged against 'Reynolds & family'..

When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mud and making 'kaagaj ki naav'..

When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their homes at six in the evening..

When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored 'antardeshis' and 5 paise cream coloured postcards with 5 paise machhli wali stamps at home..

When we were not seeing many crackers but phool-jhadi, anaar, chakri, patakhe wali pistol on Diwalis and gulaals and pani filled baloons on Holi..

This list can be endless..

But on the serious note I would like to summarise with..

When we were using our hearts more than our brains, even for scientifically brainy activities like
'thinking' and 'deciding'..

When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerely..

When we were enjoying our present more than worrying about our future..

When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak..

When sharing worries and happinesses didnt mean getting vulnerable to the listener..

When blacks and whites were the favourite colors instead of greys..

When journeys also were important and not just the destinations..

When life was a passenger's sleeper giving enough time and opportunity to enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows instead of some superfast's second ac with its curtained, closed and dark windows..

I really miss..do U??

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