Santa Banta - 5

1. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

2 .How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

6. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

7. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

9. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

10. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

11. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER."

12. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

13. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

14. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.

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Santa Banta - 4

• Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in m! edical college.
  Banta: What's he studying?"
  Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
  Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon
  reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
  Santa: Oye, this was a missed call
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
  Banta: Santa u'll die.
  Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
  A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
  Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
  Banta: Me too, after u leave.
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
  The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
  Santa: I think I'll take the money.
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
  Santa: Hai.
  Frog: Nahin hai.
  Santa: Hai.
  Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
  Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
  Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

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Santa Banta - 3

• Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every
  time I breathe a man dies?"
  Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash ?"
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever-
  What comes first -the chicken or the egg?
  O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
  Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
  Santa: I didn't say he got out.
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
  Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• What's Ford?
  Santa: Gaadi.
  What's Oxford?
  Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
  A: Because it was an entrance exam.
• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
  A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

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Santa Banta - 2

• Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally
  writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
• Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write
  against mother tongue.?
  Santa: Very long!
• Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
  Guess what did he ask next...
  Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
• Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
  The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
  Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
• Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
  Santa: Birla cement.
  Banta: Kyun?
  Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
• Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
  Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
  aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
• Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai,
  koi upay batao.
  Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

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Santa Banta - 1

• Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
  Banta : I give up.
  Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music
• *********
• Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
  Judge : "But why ?"
  Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."
  Judge : "How do you know ?"
  Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."
• *********
• From his death bed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta."
  Jasmeet : "Banta ! But he is your enemy !"
  Santa : " Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."
• *********
• Banta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.
  Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, " Maybe, she didn't get the fax."
  

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