Wacky Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. 


Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. 




Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 




Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.


Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 


Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" 

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. 

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 




Father: A banker provided by nature. 

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. 


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 


Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. 


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

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Corporate Management Explained

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."

Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."

The farmer asked: "What you gonna to do with him?"

Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot -! to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998.00."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."

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Santa Banta ... Fun continues...

Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work. 
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it. 
Two hours later Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.   
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* 
Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu? 
Sardar bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.   
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********   
Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs? 
Banta: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi. 
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********   
Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho. 
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu. 
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai. 
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata. 
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********   
Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho? 
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha   
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********   
********* THE BEST ONE ! ! ! ! ! 
Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti. 
Banta: Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo. 
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********   
Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai. 
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga...   
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********   
Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta. 
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya? 
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao. 
Santa: Phir? 
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !     
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********     
Pappu: Ajj madam ne 1 swaal puchhya jisda jawab sirf mainu hi pata si. 
Santa: Mera biba beta, ki swaal si? 
Pappu: Swaal si k blackboard kol susu kine kita hai?   
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********   
Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai? 
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..! 

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