WIFE WANTED - Matrimonial Ads

A news paper had a humor page with following matrimonial published in it.

BANKER: 
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.

CAR MECHANIC: 
Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition. Should be above
average
and must run the household at a good average.

DOCTOR:
Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of
marriage. 
I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and
pills, is religious minded 
and keeps away from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin.
I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.

DRUNKER:
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda factory.
I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks only when friends come home.
Friends come home only seven times a week. 
Girl preferred will carry me from bar to  ghar-bar.
Meet personally or send soda for trial. Sample should be ample.

LAWYER:
I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of
husband after marriage. 
The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly a girl. 
The girl should be strictly a girl. 
The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of
My Lord I.
Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be sustained.
Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI with Security features
(privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities)
.

There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her.
LowBugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build. She Must not
be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT, USER FRIENDLY. We are ready to Test the Application
& CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never be released to ANY
OTHER Customer.