Sunday, May 17, 2009
51. When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
52. Man's greatest enemy is alcohol, but the Bible says," Love thy enemy!".
53. Eve to Adam: Do you love me? Adam nonchalantly: Who else?.
54. Women are like computers... as soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
55. I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
56. On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god... after that the letters reversed.
57. "Darling," said Banta to his new bride,"Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my small income?""Of course, dearest, no trouble," she replied. "But what will you live on?"
58. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner".
59. A cardiologist marries a gynecologist and were blessed with twin girls. Guess what they name them - Angina and Vagina.
60. A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank. The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake". "Oh no!"exclaimed the prostitute,"I have been raped".
61. What is common between a swimming pool and a wife -for both we pay high
maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
62. Why did Mahtama Gandhi never wore an underwear?He beleived in freedom movement?
63. Why India has never had a female President?What would you call her - Rashtra(patni)?
64. What do you call a parsi test tube baby ? Battliboi.
65. What do you call prostitutes in Pakistan ? La-whore.
66. Marriage Is Not A Word. It's A Sentence (A Life Sentence To Be More Precise).
67. Marriage Is Love. Love Is Blind. Therefore Marriage Is An Institution for the Blinds.
68. Marriage Is An Institution In Which A Man Loses His Bachelor's Degree And The Woman Gets Her Masters.
69. Getting Married Is Very Much Like Going To A restaurant With Friends.You Order What You Want, And When You See What The other Person Has, You Wish You Had Ordered That Instead.
70. There Was This Man Who Muttered A Few Words In The Church And Found Himself Married. A Year Later He Muttered Something In His Sleep And found Himself Divorced.
71. A Happy Marriage Is A Matter Of Giving And Taking;"The Husband Gives And The Wife Takes."
72. Son: How Much Does It Cost To Get Married, Dad?Father: I Don't Know Son, I'm Still Paying For It.
73. Son: Is It True Dad? I Heard That In Ancient China, A Man Doesn't Know His Wife Until He Marries Her.Father: That's True Everywhere, Son,EVERYWHERE!
74. Love Is One Long Sweet Dream, And Marriage Is The Alarm Clock.
75. They Say That When A Man Holds A Woman's Hand Before Marriage, It Is Love; After Marriage It Is Self-Defense.
76. When A Newly Married Man Looks Happy, We Know Why. But When A 10 Year Married Man Looks Happy, We Wonder Why?
77. Confucius Says: Man Who Sinks Into A Woman's Arm Soon Have Arms In Woman's Sink.