One Two Three Four (1-2-3-4) [Ek Do Teen Char]

One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler. Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad. Three Tamilians is a classical music school. Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.

ANDHRAITES One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver. Two Andhraites is a spice shop. Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit. Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry.

BENGALIS One Bengali is a rosagulla shop. Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie. Three Bengalis is a Mohun Bagan support group. Four Bengalis is a Marxist movement.

MALAYALEES One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop. Two Malayalees is a boat race. Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket. Four Malayalees is an oil slick. RAJASTHANIS One

Rajasthani is a cattle-seller. Two Rajasthanis is a mason. Three Rajasthanis is a puppet show. Four Rajasthanis is a folk dance-drama.

GOANS One Goan is Remo Fernandes. Two Goans is a Feni distillery. Three Goans is a football club. Four Goans is an all-night-long beach party.

MANGALOREANS One Mangalorean is a supari seller. Two Mangaloreans can_t stand one another. Three Mangaloreans is a kamat restaurant. Four Mangaloreans is a fanatical Konkani Sabha.

BOMBAYITES One Bombayite is a hawker. Two Bombayites is a film industry. Three Bombayites is a slum. Four Bombayites is the rush-hour train crowd.

MAHARASHTRIANS One Maharashtrian is a bus conductor. Two Maharashtrians is a kabaddi match. Three Maharashtrians is a Ganpati procession. Four Maharashtrians is a Shiv Sena Shakha.

GUJARATIS One Gujarati is a share broker in a Mumbai train. Two Gujaratis is the total chatter in a Mumbai train. Three Gujaratis is a rummy game in a Mumbai train. Four Gujaratis is a dandiya-raas session all night long.

KUTCHIES One Kutchi is a kirana shop. Two Kutchis is a stationery shop. Three Kutchis is a saree shop. Four Kutchis is the entire Bombay retail trade.

SARDARJIS One Sardarji is a truck-driver. Two Sardarjis is a roadside dhaba. Three Sardarjis is a terrorist outfit. Four Sardarjis are always found in jokes.

SINDHIS One Sindhi is a currency racket. Two Sindhis is a papad factory. Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop. Four Sindhis is a lot of gas around.

BIHARIS One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav. Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad. Three Biharis is a caste category. Four Biharis is the total literate population of the state.

BHAIYYAS One Bhaiyya is a milkman. Two Bhaiyyas is a bhelwala / panipuri wala. Three Bhaiyyas is a temple-destruction squad. Four Bhaiyyas is a halwai shop. (And 12 Bhaiyyas is one SMALL family).

KASHMIRIS One Kashmiri is a boatman. Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory. Three Kashmiris is a tourist agency. Four Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit.

KANNADIGAS One Kannadiga is a coffee estate. Two Kannadigas is an Udupi restaurant. Three Kannadigas is a pepper powder factory. Four Kannadigas is an anti-Cauvery squad.

PUNJABIS One Punjabi is chhole-bathure 5 times a week. Two Punjabis is one bottle of whisky in one night. Three Punjabis is a public fistfight. Four Punjabis is 200 kg of excess weight.

PARSIS One Parsi is a sentence punctuated with BC_s and MC_s. Two Parsis is a doctor and a lawyer. Three Parsis is a 75-year-old man and his two unmarried sisters. Four Parsis is half their remaining population.