SMS Mantra: Fun begins here: 2008

Man Vs Woman

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

How to make a woman happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy;
a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a good mother
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Bring beer
2. Hand over the remote.

Life Ke Funde

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

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There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
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Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects.
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Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.
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The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
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Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye, Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!

Drunken Dosti Yaari Dialogues

Common lines after people got drunk…

1. Tu Mera bhai hai…

2. Gaadi mai Chalaunga…

3. Tu bura mat manana bhai…

4. Mai Teri Dil se Izzat Karta hu…

5. Yaar aaj uski bahut yaad aa rahi hai...

6. Aaj Chad nahi rahi hai kya baat hai…

7. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai…

8. Ye mat samajh ki mein Pi-key bol raha hu…

9. Yaar kam to nahi padegi… This is a dialogue discussed before drinkingJ

10. Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae…

11. Yaar magar Dil dukha diya yaar…

12. Chal teri baat karata hoon usse, phone number de uska...

13. Kuchh bhi hai Bhai hai Apna…

14. Tu Bolna Bhai kya chahiye…Jaan chahiye hazir hai!!

15. You know i am not drunk...

16. Abe mere ko aaj tak nahi Chadee...shart laga aaj tu..

Newton's Laws of Love

Friday, September 26, 2008

Newton in Romantic Mood......

Universal law of Love:
" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "

************ * First law of Love:
“a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "

************ * Second law of Love:
"The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."

************ * Third law of Love:
"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."

Hindi Jokes - 2

Monday, August 25, 2008

थप्पड़ मारने के बाद नाराज़ बीवी को मनाने के लिए पति बोला , ' आदमी उसे ही मारता है , जिससे प्यार करता है। '
यह सुनते ही बीवी ने पति को 4 थप्पड़ रसीद कर दिए और बोली , ' आप क्या समझते हैं , मैं आपसे कम प्यार करती हूं !!!'
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संता लंबे टुअर पर जाने से पहले अपने दोस्त बंता से कहकर गए कि अगर कुछ असामान्य बात हो जाए , तो मुझे फोन कर देना। एक हफ्ते के बाद अचानक बंता ने फोन किया और बोले , ' संता जी , आपकी बीवी का आशिक जो आपकी गैरमौजूदगी में रोज रात को आता था , आज नहीं आया !!!'
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10 वीं मंजिल पर पहुंचकर छत पर जाने के लिए एक शख्स ने किसी से पूछा , ' ऊपर जाने का रास्ता कौन सा है ?' उसने जवाब दिया , ' कहीं से भी नीचे कूद जाओ , पहुंच जाओगे। '
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डॉक्टरः आज तो तुम कल से बेहतर लग रहे हो। खांसी भी आराम से आ रही है।
मरीज़ः रातभर प्रैक्टिस जो की है !!!
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डॉक्टर मरीज़ से: कहिए , अब तो आपको नींद आ जाती है ना ?
मरीज: जी डॉक्टर साहब , लेकिन आधी रात तक मैं यही सोचता रहता हूं कि पहले नींद क्यों नहीं आती थी !!!
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दो आदमी कब्रिस्तान में बैठे बात कर रहे थे ,' ये लोग कितने आराम से सो रहे हैं। ' तभी एक मुर्दा उठकर बोला ,' क्यों न सोएं ? यह जगह जान देकर हासिल की है। '
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संता बीच चौराहे पर खड़े होकर खाली कढ़ाई में करछी चला रहे थे। काफी लोग वहां खड़े होकर उन्हें देखने लगे। तभी एक आदमी ने चुटकी लेते हुए पूछा, ‘ क्यों भाई क्या बना रहे हो ?’
बंताः सबको बेवकूफ बना रहा हूं।
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प्रेमिका : प्रिय , तुमने मुझमें ऐसा क्या देखा जो तुम्हें मुझसे प्यार हो गया ?
प्रेमी : डार्लिन्ग , अभी कुछ देखा कहां है , देखने के लिए ही तो प्यार किया है ;-)
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जज ( आरोपी महिला से) : आपने अपने पति को कुर्सी क्यों मारी ?
महिला : क्योंकि मैं टेबल उठा नहीं पाई।

Hindi Jokes - 1

Friday, August 22, 2008

गीता : यह जानकर बहुत अच्छा लगा कि तुम्हारी बेटी मिस इंडिया बन गई है। बहुत बहुत बधाई ! शीला : लेकिन मैं बहुत परेशान हूं , बहन। गीता : क्यों ? शीला : क्योंकि लोगों ने मुझे मदर इंडिया कहना शुरू कर दिया है।
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बंटीः ममी - ममी , मुझे 10 रुपये चाहिए। ममीः तुम्हारे पापा की पैंट बाथरूम में टंगी है , जाओ उसमें से निकाल लो। बंटीः अरे ममी , अगर पापा की पैंट में 10 रुपये होते तो मैं आपसे क्यों मांगता ?
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संता : अगर तुम्हारे नाम 5-7 करोड़ रुपए की लॉटरी निकल आए तो तुम क्या करोगे ? बंता : फिर कुछ करने की जरूरत ही क्या है ?
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एक डॉक्टर मकैनिक से अपनी कार ठीक करवा रहा था। मकैनिक ने पूछा , ' आप किस बात के डॉक्टर हैं ?' डॉक्टर ने कहा , ' दिल का। ' कुछ देर बाद मकैनिक बोला , ' डॉक्टर साहब , एक बात मेरी समझ से परे है। देखिए , कार का एन्जिन कार का दिल है। आपकी तरह मैं भी इस दिल को खोलता हूं , इसके वॉल्व निकालकर साफ करता हूं। इसकी नसें यानी तार ठीक करता हूं। आप जिस तरह ऑपरेशन करते हैं , वैसे ही मैं भी करता हूं। आपको एक ऑपरेशन के लाख - दो लाख रुपये मिलते हैं और मुझे कुछ सौ रुपये ही क्यों मिलते हैं ?' डॉक्टर ने कहा , ' जब मैं ऑपरेशन करता हूं , तो इंजन बंद नहीं होता , चलता रहता है। क्या तुम एन्जिन को चालू रखते हुए यह सब कर सकते हो ?'
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मटरनिटी वॉर्ड के बाहर दो आदमी बेसब्री से इंतजार कर रहे थे। इतने में नर्स ने आकर एक आदमी से कहा , ' बधाई हो , लड़की हुई है ... । ' दूसरा बोला , ' सरासर ज्यादती है , यहां मैं पहले आया था।
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पत्नी : मुझे लगता है कि आपका पड़ोसन के साथ नाजायज़ रिश्ता है। पति : तुम कैसे कह सकती हो ? पत्नी : क्योंकि कल जब उसके पति आए थे तो उन्होंने आपका अंडरवेयर पहना हुआ था।
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वकील ने पत्नी से कहा , ' तुमने मेरे स्वेटर की बांहें इतनी लंबी क्यों बना दीं ?' पत्नी बोली , ' आप ही तो कहते थे कि कानून के हाथ बहुत लंबे होते हैं। '
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केशव : मैडम आपकी अंग्रेजी इतनी अच्छी है , मैं आपसे एक सवाल पूछूं ? मैडम : पूछो। केशव : समंदर में जो छोटी-छोटी लहरें उठती हैं उन्हें अंग्रेजी में क्या कहते हैं ? मैडम (काफी देर तक सोचने के बाद ): मुझे नहीं पता। केशव (हंसते हुए) : माइक्रोवेव !
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नया-नया इश्क हुआ था।
एक दिन वह बोली: ' डार्लिंग , तुम मेरे लिए क्या कर सकते हो ?' मैंने कहा : ' तुम कह कर तो देखो। ' वह बोली: ' क्या तुम उस पहाड़ के दूसरी तरफ जा सकते हो ?' मैंने कहा: ' जरूर जा सकता हूं। लेकिन क्या यहां तुमने किसी और को मिलने का टाइम दे रखा है ?'
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पुलिसवाला कैदी से : कल सुबह 5 बजे तुम्हें फांसी दी जाएगी। कैदी : हा हा हा हा ... पुलिस : क्या हुआ , तुम क्यों हंस रहे हो ? कैदी : मैं तो सो के उठता ही 9 बजे हूं।

Santa Banta - 5

Saturday, August 9, 2008

1. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

2 .How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

6. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

7. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

9. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

10. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

11. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER."

12. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

13. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

14. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.

The Honeymoon

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!"
"Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook!"

Legal Bloopers

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place…..
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year- old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: You're kidding me, right!?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, is that correct?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? ____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor isn't it true that when a person dies in hissleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________ _________ _________ ________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

A tribute to all - Married, Semi-Married, Aspiring

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.
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If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.
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Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
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Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

Jokes - 2

Once a sardar watches an english movie and disscusses about the film the next day with his friend.
SARDAR: saala kal raat maine 3 ghannte ka ek english picture ki CD dekhi ,na koi scenes dikhe na koi awaaz sunni ,
FRIEND:picture ka naam kya tha?????
SARDAR:" NO DISC INSERTED"
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A Sardarji went to a doctor with 2 red ears.The Doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered " I was ironing my shirt and the phone-rang. Instead of picking up the phone I picked up the Iron and stuck it to my ear".
The Doctor exclaimed in disbelief" Oh Dear!, What happened to your other ear ?".
The Sardar replied "The scoundrel called back".
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A Sardar went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the man.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The Sardar touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then he touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then he touched his right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", he cried.
The doctor checked him thoughtfully for a moment and told him his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
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A Muslim, A Madrasi and A Sardarji working in a company were really frustrated as everyday in their Tiffins the same things were packed. One day they decide that if the next day the same thing is there they would commit suicide. The next day when they open their tiffins they are depressed and the muslim jumps out the window and dies. same thing is done by the madrasi and the sardarji. On the 13th day when their wives meet they discuss among themseleves why they did so. The Muslim's wife says if he would have told me not to give mutton i would have prepared some thing else.The madrasi says if once my hubby would have told me not to give idli i would have given him something else,why he had to commit suicide. The Sardarji's wife was a bit confused and surprised. On asking about his husband she replies," I didn't understand why sardarji committed suicide, he used to prepare his own tiffin everyday"

The Husband

Friday, June 27, 2008

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse phoned"

Funny Quotes - 6

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

"U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband
And the one u loved becomes the password of ur mail id"
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There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.
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Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
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Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is the liver & wife the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails.
If the kidney fails, the liver manages with other kidney.
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Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.

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What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date
and Daru is like a wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
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Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain
or wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.
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The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

Funny Quotes - 5

Long back,A person who sacrificed his sleep,Forgot his family,Forgot his food,Forgot laughter were called "Saints"
But now they are called...
"IT professionals"
An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:"
If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..Its just that,
One loves too much,
and
The other loves too many,
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!
Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and
Just few hours left for your exams..!
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask more questions that a wise mancannot answer" No wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..!!! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
After reading the form filled by an applicant..
The employer said: " WE dohave an opening for you..!
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the "door..!"
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee.
....... Leave them to us

Funny Quotes - 4

Monday, June 9, 2008

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is likeexpecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,but what we are inside
. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are eitherillegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal NehruWe should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu ki ya chacha ki???

12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…

13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.Which makes it a logical statement that90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

Flirting SMS - 6

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Tajmahal ki imarat her aashiq ko mohabbat ki misaal nazar aati hai. Main kis kis ke liye taj banwaun mujhe to her ladki mumtaz nazar aati hai.

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Jaane yeh kaisa naata hai, bas tera naam hi aata hai zubaan par, din ya raat me, le ke tera haath haath mein, rahunga tere saath saath main.

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Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!
Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?
Boy: Are pagli, yeh koi mandir thodi hai, aise hi aaja!

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Ek tanha raat me apki yaad aayi, tanhai mitane ko humne ek cigrate sulgai, na jaane kaise qayamat ho gayi ke dhooeein ne bhi apki tasvir banayi.

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Teri arzoo main humne Baharon ko dekha! Teri Zustzo main humne Sitaron ko dekha! Nahi mila tum se badhkar in nigahon ne hazaron ko dekha.

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Dil 20 13, 80 20 tere..

Confused???

Read the above numbers in punjabi.

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Baari barsi khatan geya si,
Khat ke lyanda "Sehtoot",
Tusi ta sute e reh gaye,
tuhadi "Pappi" ley geya Bhoot!!

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Tere hathon mitran ne hona ae katal,
Munde tainu kehnde baaran bor di rafal,
Asin wekhnae khud nu tabah karke,
Aaja waj ja bandook diye goliyee ni seene vich tha karke..!!

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Hi Good Morning! Arz hai, Chai ke cup se uthte dhuein mein teri shakl nazar aati hai, Tere khyalon mein kho kar aksar meri chai thandi ho jaati hai

Flirting SMS - 5

I’ll give u one kiss to go to sleep. I’ll give u two kisses to dream. I’ll give u an endless row of kisses to, when u wake up in the morning, think of me.

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I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I laid my eyes on you.

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A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum, a kiss isn't a kiss without the tongue, so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise.

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Faith makes all things possible, love makes all things easy, hopes makes all things work, but ur gorgeous smile brings all faith, luv & hope in me!

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If love & friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!

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Little keys can open big locks, simple words can express great thoughts. A text from u never fails to make me smile the whole day through.

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If you say my eyes are beautiful it's because they're looking at you, for my eyes are just the windows my feelings come through.

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Walk with me when ur hearts needs company, take my hand when u feel all alone, turn to me when u need some1 to lean on, coz I'm the one u can always depend on!

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It takes two to tango, two to kiss, two to talk & reminisce. So many good things come in pair & one of those things is ME n YOU!

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Unhe yeh shikwa hai ki hum unhe yaad karte hi nahi, par unhe ye kaun samjaye ki hum unhe yad kaise kare jinhe hum bhoolte hi nahi.

Flirting SMS - 4

Only the open heart receives love, only the open mind receives wisdom, only the open hand receives gifts and only the cute persons receive SMS from me!

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Hey, I just got your blood test report. U have been tested HIV positive. Report reads person has high percentage of Honey In Veins. No Wonder!

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U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart. U may be out of my reach, but not out of my mind. I may mean nothing to u but u'll always be special to me.

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I don't care how many lips u hv kissed, how many shoulders u have embraced & how many times u’ve said, I luv u! All I care is not b the first but 2 b ur last!

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Without ur SMS days are like: Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Frightday, Shattereday & Sadday. So send me SMS everyday.

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Excuse me, do u have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.

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If all the girls lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be?

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I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!

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In da mornin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don’t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at night I don’t sleep coz Im hungry

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In da mornin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at noon I don’t eat coz I think of u, in da evenin I don’t eat coz I think of u, at night I don’t sleep coz Im hungry

Flirting SMS - 3

Those who can't have u hate u, those who have u can't handle u, those who abuse u lose u, & then there are those like me who just can't refuse u!

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I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

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Too many stars in the sky, too many tears that have left my eyes. Too many girls out in the blue, but they are nothing compared to you!

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Sharp is ur memory, sweet is ur name, deep in my heart u'll always remain. Earth wants water, flower wants dew, I want nothing but a smile from u.

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U may b out of my sight but not out of my heart. U may b out of my reach but not out of my mind. I don't know what I mean 2 u, but u'll always be special 2 me.

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All I wanted was sumone 2 care 4 me. All I wanted was sumone who'd b there 4 me. All I ever wanted was sumone who'd b true. All I ever wanted was sum1 like u.

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Touch my heart & u’ll feel,
Listen to my heart & u’ll hear,
Look into my heart & u’ll see,
That u’ll always be a special part of me.

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Don't send any messages, I don't want to see you, hear your voice, think of you, coz my doctor advised me 2 keep away from Sweets.

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If u see some one without a smile, give him one of urns, coz u r among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles.

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Hello!! What's wrong with your mobile?
Tried so many times but Every time I call it says: The subscriber your are trying to reach is in your heart!

Flirting SMS - 2

New style of proposing a girl.. "i hv spent many sleepless nights in ur Luv n i dont want my son 2 do d same 4 your daughter so lets mk them brother n sister.

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Government imposing new taxes. Dating Rs.10, Hug Rs.20, Kiss Rs.30, Love Rs.50. But you don't worry, flirting is still free.

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The length & breadth & height of you, total up to quite a view,
but to taste the true delight of you, I'll have to take a bite of u.

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I think you are very careless! U come & leave things behind! See now what u have left? U just came in my mind and left a smile on my face.

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I believe that God above created you for me to luv. He picked me out from all the rest coz he knew I'd luv you the best!

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U luk sweet when u read my message. U luk sweeter when u read my message & smile. U luk sweetest when u read my message, smile & reply. So, try to look sweetest.

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As days go by, my feelings get stronger,
To be in ur arms, I can't wait any longer.
Look into my eyes & u'll see that it's true,
Day & night my thoughts r of U.

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I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so every time you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead.

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Even if I had 1 wish... I wouldn't wish for u to love me, coz I don't want your love to come from a wish... but straight from your heart.

Flirting SMS - 1

Life is pretty much unpredictable. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.

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Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers. So, if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.

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A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart. Keep smiling! =)

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It takes a strong heart to love. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt...

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Always be Happy, always wear a smile;
Not because life is full of reasons to smile but because ur smile itself is a reason for many others to smile...

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1+1=2 eyes look at u...
12+12=24 hours thinking about u...
3+4=7 days in week missing u...
1+11=12 months I always need A SWEET PERSON like U.

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One who somes, has a SMOKY heart,
One who drinks, has an ALCOHOLIC heart...
So dear U must STOP eating SWEETS...
as u r already a SWEETEHART!**

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._I__I_,

(_£___=------/
._I__I_,

----\----
,--<>--=____/7
(_£___=------/
._I__I_,

Di I have permission to make an emergency landing in your bedroom tonight!

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Loading the Babe meter.....

5%

17%

26%

57%

78%

99%

100% COMPLETE

Processing data..

ANALYSIS COMPLETE

U R A 100%
Gorgeous Babe !

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If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tear. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

Sher-o-Shayri - 1

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

nigahain naaz kartee hay tera didaar karnay ko
yeh dil majboor karta hay tujh se pyar kar nay ko
Aapke shaher ka mausam suhana lage,
Aapki ek shaam chura lun agar bura naa lage,
Aap chahe to bhula de humko,
Par aapko bhulane mein shayad hame zamana lage.
Mera dil dhadakta hai sirf tere liye,mera dil tadapta hai sirf tere liye,naa jane mein kyun darta hoon aapse,apne pyaar ka izhar karne ke liye.
ShArAbi
Botal chupa dena kafan mein meri,
Shamshan mein piya karunga,
Jab mange ge hisab khuda..
To unhe bhi ek peg bana kar diya karunga.
Khayal (Dream)!
jab jab unka kayal ata hai,ek dard sa dil mein chahta hai,
pehle sochta hu unhe baahon mein bharlu phir hakikat nahi khwaab hone ka ehsaas ata hai.
Waiting for a Girl!
Tumko jaante nahi,par chaahte hain hum
din bhar khojte nahi,par sochte hain hum
tumhare dil mein rehte nahi,tumhare hain hum
tumko shayad paayene nahi par apnayenge hum
Commitment!
kabhi kisi se pyaar mat karna,ho jaaye to inkaar mat karna!
nibha sako to chalna uski raah par,varna kisi ki zindagi barbaad mat karna!!
Our Relationship
Haaton mein leeye paemana, jaam dhoonda karta hoon.
Tere sang gujarne ko, ek saam dhoonda karta hoon.
Duniya wale humare rishtey ko, yu hee badnaam karte hain.
Ke main eis rishtey ko, dene ek naam dhoonda karta hoon.
Pyaar Ka Izhaar..
Mera dil dhadakta hai sirf tere liye,mera dil tadapta hai sirf tere liye,
naa jane mein kyun darta hoon aapse,apne pyaar ka izhar karne ke liye.

Jokes - 1

Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka potta;
Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka potta:
Aaj hamara bhi bank balance hota, agar dada diwana na hota!!!
padh likh kar kya karna hai,
aakhir ek din to sabko marna hi hai..
mar kar bhi agar janam liya,
to fir LKG se hi to padhna hai...
Teacher to a Sardar: make a sentence in which one word is repeated 4 times
Sardar: if Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara, she becomes Lara Lara, bolo tara rara!!
an anxious husband called hospital to ask about his pregnant wife. accidentally he called the cricket stadium.husb: how are things?he died of heart attack on hearing the reply: fine 3 are out,hope to get 7 by lunch... last one ws a duck.."
a chinese couple mr. and mrs hua got twin children though they didnt want anyso what did they name them??they named them as jo hua & so hua!!!
sardar at an art gallery: i suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call the "modern art"
dealer: i beg your pardon sir but thats a mirror.
Q: how can you identify a sardarji in a classroom?
ans: its simple, just check who is erasing his notes when the teacher is cleaning the board!!
Two sardarjis looking at egyptian mummy:
sardar 1:oh my god!! so many bandages! it was a lorry accident for sure...
sardar 2:aaho! you are right!! look the lorry no. is also written beneath BC 1760....
sardar 1: why do doctors anaesthesize the patients during the operations??
sardar 2: coz they dont want their patients to learn how to operate...

Good Luck SMS - 1

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Every sunset gives us one day less to live! But every sunrise give us,one day more to hope! So,hope for the best.Good Day & Good Luck!
The HOPE, The STRUGGLE and The HARD WORK towards a goal/ success is part of the rewards. Achieving goal itself is not the whole reward........ BEST WISHES
Care for the one who shares with u, share with the one who knows u,know the one who MISSES u, MISS the one who WELL WISHES for u,Wish u all the Best
Fly in the plane of Ambition & Land in the Airport of Success...Luck is yours,Wish is mine...May Ur future always shine...Good Luck
I Wish 4 " U "Great start 4 MondayNo Obstacles 4 TuesdayNo stress 4 WednesdayNo worry 4 Thursday Smile 4 FridayParty 4 Saturday & Great fun 4 Sunday"Have a beautiful and smart week
Happiness as light as air.LOVE as DEEP as OCEAN.Friends as solid as diamonds and success as bright as gold.These r my wishes 4 u today n everyday
With my1 Heart...2 eyes...5 litre blood...206 bones...1.2million Red Cells...60 trillion D.N.A.'s...I wish u "All the very best of LUCK
Trusting God won't make the mountain smaller but it will make climbing easier.Hope you will be able to climb all your mountains always. Good Luck
Meaning of some colors, Yellow for special friend, white for peace, orange 4 luck,black for hate, red for love and pink for likeness,So i choose for u Orange Flower.Wish u goodluck
I wish a wish for u.Its a wish I wish for few.The wish I wish for u is that all ur wishes come true so keep wishing as my best wishes are always with u.
Difficulties in your life do not come to destroy U,but to help U realise ur hidden potential and Power,Let Difficulties know that U too are DIFFICULT((ALWAYZ THINK +IVE))

Sorry SMS - 1

Friday, February 29, 2008

Oh! I am really sorry! Just cannot gather enough courage to face you after hurting you, but I promise, not to repeat it.Please Forgive Me!
I know how angry you are & what you must be going through....So I hope,you know,how sorry I am for all that has happened between us. Please Forgive Me!
I blew things out of proportion! Am Sorry! Please Forgive ME!
Sorry for Hurting You!What I did was Foolish & Impulsive. If I could take it all back I'd do so this Instant.I truly did not mean to hurt you in Anyways.Please Forgive Me! I'm so sorry!
Just to say am sorry.........Letting you know,I'm repentant for everything & how much I'm wishing for things to be the same as they were. Hope you'll forgive me!
My heart just wants to say sorry...please know that I want to make things right again.I know I've hurt you & it has been very mean on my part,to say those very harsh words,But now when I think of that moment,all I want to do is apologize with all my heart.I'm really sorry!
I'm so sorry,ever since I've hurt you I've been feeling really miserable....Lets be friends again?Please forgive me!
For everything that happened between you & me I want to apologize for not being caring enough & hurting your feelings. Please Forgive Me!
So Lonely,So Guilty,So Bad,So Uneasy.........Please forgive me!
I'm not smiling till you forgive me! I am sorrryyyyy
I dont quite know how to make things better between us.I can start by saying I am sorry, I really am...please forgive me!
Its not easy to undo the hurt that I've caused you......but am really sorry...please forgive me!

Mother's Day SMS

It's Mother's Day! Stir a little sunshine into your teacup & have a lovely day! You Deserve It! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Wishing You Always.............Love to Surround You, Beautiful Moments to Cheer You and Happiness to Fill Your Heart! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Because of all the lovely things that you have said & done, All the ways that you have shared, and all the times you've helped & cared, I've always been so proud to be your son/daughterWISHING YOU A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
No one has to CALL & tell You.........."You're COOL"You Already know IT! You're AWESOME! You rule!HAVE A COOL MOTHER'S DAY!
After hard work from morning 2 evening
Dad asked: Kitna kamaya (How much you earned)
Wife asked: Kitna bachaya (How much you saved)
Children asked: Kya laya (What have you brought)
but mother asked: Kuch khaya (Have you eaten something)
That's MAA. MAA TUJHE SALAAM. Happy Mother's Day
Being a full time mother is one of the highest paying salaried jobs.....since the payment is pure love.......WISHING YOU A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
उसने खुद को खोकर मुझमें एक नया आकार लिया है,
धरती, अम्बर, आग, हवा, जल... जैसी है सच्चाई अम्मा!...

Father's Day SMS

Dad is a guide,family stone,glue tht holds d family 2gether,all in all sum1 2 talk 2 & sum1 who listens!Happy Father's Day!
God took the strength of a mountain
The majesty of a tree
The warmth of a summer sun
The calm of a quiet sea
The generous soul of nature
The comforting arm of night
The wisdom of the ages
The power of the eagle's flight
The joy of a morning in spring
The faith of a mustard seed
The patience of eternity
The depth of a family need
Then God combined these qualities
When there was nothing more to add
He knew His masterpiece was complete
And so..................................
He called it ... DAD

Women's Day SMS - 3

Talented, Ambitious, Vibrant, your enthusiasm in all your endeavors inspires me!On Woman's Day.......I wish success be with you always!
This LIFE has no existence without astrong ally in WOMAN in every stage of lifestarting from Motherhood to Wife, Sister &finally a Daughter.Happy Women's Day !!
U can get her love in the form of Sister, Friend, Beloved, Wife, in the form of Mother & in the form of Grandmother.....so,.....Respect HER....She is a Woman! Happy Women's Day!
IF fate favours you one day & you are asked what you want to be,don't wish to be someone else.....because you are wonderful the way you are! cheers to Womanhood! Happy Women's Day!
Wish you a very happy women's day.....Its you who's making the differrence in so many lives....and I am one of them....Have a wonderful day!
A beautiful woman draws strength from troubles, smiles during distress and grows stronger with prayers & hope. Send this to a beautiful woman. I just did! Wishing you a very happy woman's day!
A very happy women's day! Truly proud to be a woman who is a symbol of GOD's Shakti, Love, Compassion, Dignity, Strength & so on....the list of her qualities is endless. So hats off to all women of the world!
The willingness to listen, the patience to udnerstand, the strength to support, the heart to care & just to be there....that is the beauty of a lady! Happy Women's Day!
We are cute duaghters, we are sweet sisters, we are lovely lovers, we are darling wives, we are adorable mothers, we are source of strength, we are WOMEN!Happy Women's Day!
Behind every successful man is a woman who is getting ahead of him! Three cheers to the woman of tommorrow! Happy Woman's Day!

Women's Day SMS - 2

Happy Women's Day! Wish you a day as unique & special as you are!
Sometimes I wonder......Who You are?? Then I feel....You are someone who can't be categorized.. You are an AIO (All In One) for me!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
You are my 24*7 hotline to happiness...... Happy Women's Day to one with whom it's FUN always!
They say a joy shared is a joy doubled......And I say a dessert shared is fun doubled! Wish your Women's Day is choc-a-block with smiles!
You may be miles apart....but you are always in my thoughts & in my heart! HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
A Beautiful Woman,A Great Friend,And A Wonderful Mother.....U're all this to me & much more....Happy Women's Day 2 an extraordinary woman & a wonderful mother!
Coz U are such a special woman & bring so much joy all around....here's a wish for you for unbound happiness!Happy Women's Day!
Happy Women's Day to a sister who is smart,intelligent,charming,witty & good looking! I guess it runs in the family!
You stood tall as a mountain.....when life made you face ups and downs....Your courage, your determination....Your strength of mind & depth of wisdom....is what mades you an inspiration to all!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
Its not just your beauty......Not only your charming ways...Your prescence somehow just makes....my world a more special place!Your understanding, warmth & affection,Your small thoughtful actions....all define the perfection of womanhood to me!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!

Women's Day SMS - 1

"Do ur work with mastery.Like d moon come out frm behind d clouds!Shine!May ur inner light guide U in all tht U do! HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
Go confidentally in d direction of ur dreams!Live d life u've imagined!Go for it & b confident tht U can do it!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
U hv in urself d strength n serenity of d mountains,d power & depth of oceans,d beauty & innocence of an open blossom!On Women's Day, here's wishing you a day that's as completely wonderful as you are!
All d wonders U seek r within urself! U hv it in U 2 take d world in ur stride! May all ur dreams come true!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
Strength,Grit & Detrermination...Depth of wisdom...ur vision is an inspiration 2 all...including me!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
Keep ur face always towards d sunshine!May ur sunny & enthusiastic spirit b with U always!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
A wonderful person,A great friend..It's a blessing 2 have both of them in U!A VERY HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY 2 A SPECIAL U!
On this special da,celebrate life..tk a break frm ur busy schedule,let ur hair down,have fun & do wht ur heart says...coz today is ur day!Have a Great Women's Day!
For all d times u've brought a smile,And made my days seem brighter,For sharing ups and downs with me...And making my burdens lighter,For doing the caring things that make a special friend...Your friendship is a joy.....I wish it never ends!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!
Lipstick $10,Purse $15,Sunshade $20,Ur Friendship - FREE! Thank goodness!coz if F'ship had a price tah I'd never b able to afford a Precious Friend like U!HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY TO MY FAVOURITE GAL PAL!

Exams SMS - 4

EXam's song:"Chanda Mama so Gaye,Student saare jage.Dekho pakdo yaron,Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.Ek pariksha khatam,to dujishuru ho gayi MAAMU.
Hum jeete ek bar hai,
marte ek bar hai,
pyar ek bar hota hai,
aur shaadi bhi ek hi bar hoti hai
..............
To fir ye ..
EXAMS BAAR-BAARKYUN ??
STUDENTS ANTHEM-hum honge pass pass, hum honge pass pass,honge pass pass 1 din,OHHO,likhte hain bakwaas,lekin univrsity pe hai vishwas,hum honge pass pass
A student declartion at d end of the answer paper-"i hereby declare dat ans written above r true 2d bst of my friends knowledge,i claim no responsiblity of d correction of answer"
Na moh na maya haiAalas tumhi ko aya hai.Baith k char panne palat lo betafinal paper girlfrnd / Boyfrnd ne nahi banaya hai.
Na wakt hai itna ki sylabus pura kiya jaena tarkib koi ki exam pas kiya jae.Na jane kaun sa dard diya hai is padhai nena roya jaye aur na soya jaye.
Exams ka saya hai,exam ke dino mein sukh kisne paya hai?duniyawale kehte hain acche number lo,par inhe kaun samjhaye yeh to moh maya hai!!
"Examination is Garden,Success is Flower......May GOD Bless U with Power to Pluck this Flower!"
Har sawaal se dat kar ladhna,Fekne mein kami mat karna,Mouka mila to peeche bhi dekhna,Aur ek baat yaad rakhna.....Aage wale ka paper apna hi samajhna! ;)Good Luck!
Hight of honestySitting in an Examination hall,Opening a chit,Memorising the answer & writting it without seeing.

Exams SMS - 3

yeh exame ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
ajeeb hote hai, sab apne apne naseeb hote hai,
rehta hai jo nigaho se dur,
saale vo he questions compulsary hote hai...
so........BEST OF LUCK!!!
Qayamat ke din farishte ne sab se kaha...aapne aapne gunaah paper pe likho.Sabne apne apne gunaah likhe...ki achank aapki aawaz aayi..."Sir supplement."...
so write well in exame & best of luck!!!
Kahan koi kitab aaisi mili jispe dil luta dete, Her ek ne dimag khaya kiss-kiss ko nipta dete, Ab sylabus dekh ke sochte hai,Ek mahina or hota to duniya hila dete....
BEST OF LUCK & WRITE WELL!!!
Ishq ke school me naya mahol ho gaya...Ek teacher ko Pappu se pyar ho gaya. Tbhi se sare class ka dil udas ho gaya. Saare bachhe fail aur Pappu pass ho gaya....
DO NOT USE ANT SHORT CUT LIKE PAPPU...!!!
Student ke dard ko Universitywale kya jaane??College ke rivajon ko parents kya jaane??Hoti hai taklif jo likhne walon ko, Wo paper check karne wala kya jaane??.........
ALL THE BEST OF UR EXAMES!!!
Lamha lamha yuhi guzar jayega,Kuch dino baad Final Exame aa jayega,Abhi waqt hai thoda aur padhle...Tu kya Munnabhai hai, jo Rustam tujhe bachane aayega??.......
WISH U ALL THE VERY BEST 4 ALL UR PAPERS!!
Kash koi exame result ka insurance kara deta.To har exame ke pahle primium bharwa leta,Pass hota to thik warna insurance claim karwa leta...
ALL THE BEST
Exame me question aaya :- challenge ka example likhiye?Ladke ne pura paper blank choda aur end ke page pe likha: Agar apne baap ki aulad hai to pass karke bata....
HEY U DONT DO LIKE THAT...WRITE WELL!!!
It takes 15trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exame. Joine us in promoting the noble coz ofsaving tress...SAY NO TO EXAMES...
book khulti hai exam ka sama hota hai,isi mausam me to dimag taba hota hai,dimag ki baatein answersheet pe nahi aati,ye fasana to marksheet pe bayaan hota hai

Good Morning SMS - 3

Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Gd Morning, it has asilent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!
Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!
A night hug warms the heart, a night kiss brightens the day, and a good morning to start your day!
Nite has end for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay.
The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & miss you.
The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..
The sun has once brought brightness to earth! lazy bone. it's time 2 wake up gd morning...
Your soul came back from dreamland reunited with a sleeping senseless piece of yourself slowly open ur eyes realise its a brand new day. Good Morning.
Pyari si subah me,pyare se panchhi,pyare se kinare,pyari si thandi hawaye,1 pyare se dost ko pyara sa din de!GM
Begin the day with a light heart. Let all your worries be swept aside. Smile a moment n thank God, for this day He cares for you all the way.GM
DOC'S prescription 4 U today, a cute lil smile4 brkfst, more laughs 4 lunch & lots of happiness 4 dinner, doctr's fee, a miss call whenever u think of me....

Good Morning SMS - 2

There is nothing in dis world tht 1 cant acquire,d only thing needed is Motivation & d right Direction 2 move!G'Morning
If U r stressed u'll get pimples...if U cry u'll get wrinkles...then y don't U smile & get dimples?G'Morning!Keep smiling!
Every sunset gives us 1 day less to live,bt every sunrise gives us 1 day more 2 hope!So,get up & hope 4 d best.G'Morning
Dont walk as if U rule d world,bt walk as if U dont mind who d hell rules d world! thts cald-"attitude"!Enjoy life!GM
Thought 4 d day:"Never Change Ur Originality 4 sake of others"coz no 1 can play ur role better than U urself!G'Morning
Stars hv settled n sun will shine..our relationmatures like a lovely wine..very gud morning 2 a friend of mine..may ur day 2day b lovely n fine...
Look @ d SUN & c TIME..look in d HEART & c LOVE..look in d EYES & c LIFE..look @ ur CELL & c who's REMEMBERING U!GM
Troubles r like a washing machine,dey Twist,Turn & Knock us arnd,bt in d end v come out Cleaner,Brighter & Better than Before.GM
A very original gd morning wish only 4 u!Beware of cheap duplicates!I`m d only authorized dealer 4 G'Morning Wishes :)

Good Morning SMS - 1

Whn V sigh abt problems,dey grow D_O_U_B_L_E,bt wen we laugh abt dem dey become o o o o o o bubbles!Hv a bubbly day!
3 little morning gifts for U : luck,health & GOD's guidance!GOOD MORNING! Have a Nice Day!
Let yesterday handle its burdens as the sun rises to a new day. Arise, smile, look up and whisper a little prayer :-"Lord, this day to you I offer."
Life is not measured by the moments of breath you take but by the breath taking moments. Gud morning & seize the day! :)
1 khubsurti..1 tazgi..1 sapna..1 sachhai..1 kalpana..1 ehsas..1 vishvas.yahi hai ache din ki shuruvat! GOOD MORNING
Learn from yesterday...Take action & enjoy today...Prepare for & look forward to tomorrow! G'Morning! Hv a nice day!
I hope U woke up wid a SMILE on ur face,a heart full of LOVE & a morning full of INSPIRATION.Gd Morning!
"Friendship" is nt a big fire which burns all day bt its a small lamp tht burns till d last day of life. Gd Morning
I wish u rainbows tht never fade,mornings tht never end,& a heart filled with love to keep you smiling all day.G'Morning
One shud keep friends in constant repair.The difficulty is nt so great 2 die 4 a friend, as 2 find a friend worth dying 4!G'Morning

Holi SMS - 5

Enjoy 2 ur heart's content & celebrate in all style! Wishing U endless joy & all d happiness in d world!HAPPY HOLI 2 U!
Sending ur way colourful wishes of HOLI to enjoy the fun,2 embrace every1 & to smear one another in d shade of brotherhood!HAPPY HOLI
Let's welcome the vibrant festival of colours with joy & jubiliation! I wish U a very happy holi!May it b a Glorious Celebration!
Let us come alive wid d colours,let us come 2gether 2 become 1 agn,let us nt hold anything back 2day...for it is HOLI!So come let's njoy our day!
Thanx 4 all d joy U bring,4 d caring things U do,bt most of all thanx 4 all d warmth U share!Looking 4ward to HOLI 4 many more fun friendship moments!
NATURE KA HAR RANGAAP PE BARSEHAR KOI AAPSE HOLI KHELNE KO TARSERANGDE AAP KO MIL K SAB ITNAKI AAP WOH RANG CHHUDANE KO TARSE.ENJOY COLOURS HAPPY HOLI
Rangon se bhi rangeen zindagi hai humari, rangeeli rahe yeh bandagi hai humari,kabhi na bigde ye pyar ki rangoli, aye mere yaar aisi HAPPY HOLI

Holi SMS - 4

Be ready, you can not skip being coloured by me this time. Don't just lock your self up on the day and Holi hard. It comes once in a year and make the most of it. So please, play with me. I wish you my hearty best wishes for the festival.
Sunhari Dhup Barsat ke Bad thodi Si Hashi Har Bat ke Bad Usi Tarah Ho Mubarak App Ko Ye Nayi Subah Kal rat Ke Bad Happy Holi.
rang de basanti rang de basanti rang de basanti rang de basanti rang de basanti rang de basanti rang de basanti rang de basanti rang de basanti ...........arey yaar sidha samajhna ....happy holi !
Rang udaye Pichkari, rang se rang jaye duniya sari, holi ke rang aapke jeevan ko rang de...... yahi shubha kaamna hai hamari HAPPY HOLI
Pichkari Gulal ke tyohar ko Apne shubh Chintako Ke saath Manaye.Hum umeed Karte Hain ki iss Avsar Par apki Zindagi Bhi haseen RangoSe bharJaye.Happy Holi
NA JUBAN SE,NA NIGAHO SE,NA DIMAG SE,NA RANGO SE,NA GREETINGS SE,NA GIFTS SEAAPKO "HAPPY HOLI" DIRECT DIL SE :-)
Bhar bhar ke jaam pilaao,chang aur mridang bajao,gile shikve bhul jaao,man galiyaara chaheke,aisi satrangi chadar faihrao,aao sab milkar holi manao!
Wish **U **all **Happy** **Holi* . *May **this** **Holi** **brings** **a **lot** **of* ***joy** **and* ***happiness** **in* ***our **life.* *&* *May* ***this** **Festival* ***of **colours** **shower** **upon* ***you ** **and **your** **dear ****ones** **the** charm **and* ***charisma **of** **a **life** **time**.*
KHUSIA ho overflow,Mastikabhi na hoSlow.JEB me HO Bhari MAYA.SUKH SUVIDHA ki hoChaya.SAR pe ho yash ki ROLI.JOR se Bolo HAPPY HOLI.
Jeewan k har rang dosto se hai Koi Laal, Koi Neela Koi Hara,Koi Peela Par jab bhi aapko dekhte hai dil bus yehi puchta hai. YEH NAYA rang konsa hai. Happy Holi
Aapka aangan Vasant Utsav ke rangon se bhar jaye! Wishing you a Happy Holi full of many happy moments!
Time to soak in d freshness of spring,HOLI is here,let d colours Pour in!Hope U hv lots of fun singing,dancing & splashing colours on everyone!
This HOLI I want U 2 be bathed in d colour of joy....May happiness & good fortune be showered generously!HAPPY HOLI!

Holi SMS - 3

May God gift you all the colors of life, colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love and all other colors you want to paint in your life.Happy Holi.
If wishes come in rainbow colors then I would send the brightest one to say Happy Holi. Best wishes to you for a Holi filled with sweet moments and memories to cherish for long. Happy Holi!!!
Saade rang ko galti se aap naa kora samjho,Isi mey samaaye indradhanushi saaton rang,Jo dikhe aapko zindagi saadagi bhari kisi ki,To aap yun samjho satrangi hai duniya usiki, Holi aayi satrangi rango ki bouchar laayi,Dher saari mithai aur mitha mitha pyar laayi,Aap ki zindagi ho mithe pyar aur khusiyon se bhari,Jisme samaaye saaton rang yahi shubhkamna hai hamaari.
Apun wishing you a wonderful,Super-duper,Zabardast,Xtra-badhiya,Xtra special,Ekdum mast and dhinchak,Bole to ekdum jhakaas“Happy Holi”.
Aapne dil ka haal batana chod diya, humne bhi gehrai mein jaana chod diya. Holi se pehle hi aapne nahana chod diya?
Rang barse bhige chunar wali, rang barse o rang barse bhige chunar wali..rang barse, are rang barse bhige chunar wali..re! Ab ghar jao nahi to jukham lag jayega.
A true and caring relation doesn't have to speak loud, a soft sms is just enough to express the heartiest feelings. Enjoy the festival of Holi with lot of fun.
Holi tyohar hai Rang aur Bhaang ka,Hum sab yaaron ka,Ghar mein aaye mehmano ka,Gali mein rehne walon ka, Mohalle mein mahoul banane waalo ka,Desh mein deshwalo ka,Boora naa maano Holi hai Holi hai bhai Holi hai!
Holi mat bhedo ko mitane ka saar hai,Holi dushmano ko gale lagane ka tyohar hai,Holi naa khele jo manhoos,Unki jeevan mein haar hai!
Holi ki Shubh Kaamnaein. Bhaiyon aur beheno, Holi ke rango mein khoob rangna aur khushiyan manana.
Even though I am far away from you, I can feel the colours of Holi celebrations. I wish you all a colourful Holi. I wish Holi Festival paint your life with colours of happiness.

Holi SMS - 2

Khaa key gujiya, pee key bhaang,
laaga k thora thora sa rang, baaja ke dholak aur mridang,
khele holi hum tere sang. HOLI MUBARAK!!!!
Holi par sabhi ko sabhi rango se milkar ek rang, apko mile jo apki khusiyon ko rangin bana de. Happy Holi!!
Rang udaye Pichkarirang se rang jaye duniya sari holi ke rang aapke jeevan ko rang deye shubha kaana hai hamari. HAPPY HOLI !!!
Rango Ke Tyohar Me Sabhi Rango Ki Ho Bharmar, Dher Saari Khushiyo Se Bhara Ho Aapka Sansar, Yahi Dua hai Bhagwan Se Hamari Har bar, Holi Mubarak!
Makki ki Roti, Nimbu ka Aachar, Suraj Ki Kirne, Khushiyo ki Bahar, Chand Ki Chandi, Apno ka Pyar, Mubarak Ho Aapko, HOLI ka Tyohar
Pichkari ki dhar, gular ki bauchar, apno ka pyar, yahi hai HOLI ka tyohar.Wishing you and your family a very hapy and colourful HOLI.
Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai, Sitaro ne aasman se salaam bheja hai,Mubaraq ho aapko holi ka tyohar,Humne dil se yeh paigam bheja hai.
Dipped in hues of love and trust has come the festival of Holi. Happy Holi!!
Bright colors, water balloons,lavish gujiyas and melodious songs are the ingredients of perfect Holi. Wish you a very happy and wonderful Holi.

Maha Shivratri SMS

Saturday, February 23, 2008

SHIV ki jyoti se noor milta hai
sabke dilon ko surur milta hai,
jobhi jaata hai BHOLEY ke dwaar,
kuch na kuch zarror milta hai
"JAI BABA AMARNATH"

Shiv ki shakti,
shiv ki bhakti,
khushi ki bahar mile,
shivratri ke pavan avsar par
aapko zindgi ki ek nayi achhi shuruaat mile.
Happy Shivratri.

Valentine's Day Proposal

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Valentine's Day SMS | Valentine Day Message | Valentine | Love | Happy Valentine Day | Valentine Message Hindi English

With you it's Valentine's Day 365 days a year.

Love is the language our hearts use to speak to one another. For you, my dear, my heart sings.

I love you......
Nothing to wish
Nothing to say
Always be happy
That's my pray.

What can I say to you than just one sentence that.."You Completed me Baby!!"

I wanna let you know that I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are the best thing ever happened in my life. No matter what happens in future. I'll always be with you. Luv you madly. Your sweetheart.

Wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day. This message is to let you know that you are thought of always. May God give you everything you wish for. My heart will pray for you, for your happiness wherever you are.

I love you! You are my life, my love, my everything. I'm lost without you.

Darling you must be like a light bulb because you're turning me on.Happy Valentine's Day.

My sweetheart, All I want to say for you this day is that I'll always love you. You're my soul mate. Your kisses are better than everything. You fill me up with love. I want to be with you forever and ever! stay in my heart and I'll always love you.
Kisses and hugs

If I never met you, I wouldn't like u.
If I never like you i wouldn't love you.
If I wouldn't love you I wouldn't miss you.
but... I did ,, I do ,, I will.

When I need friend, you are here with me.
When I need help, you are here with me.
When I need someone who care, you are here with me.
When I need someone who love, you are here with me.
When I need someone who's special, you are here with me.
I miss you so much..
I love you so much..

Valentine Day | Free Valentine SMS, Valentine SMS text messages, funny Valentine SMS, urdu Valentine SMS, hindi Valentine SMS, english Valentine SMS | Valentine Gift Ideas

If a day had 36 hours i'd spend 12 picking u flowers,
If we had 48 life would surely be great,
And if it was 72?
I'd climb a mountain just to tell the world i love you,
But...all we have is 24,
Which means i'll keep the message short,
And simply spend every precious hour with you, Today n forever.

I love now, tomorrow and today,
and if God give me the time..
I'll love you 'till the end of my life...

Roses are available in more than one color, red. Violets come in other colors too besides blue. Sugar rots your teeth because it is so sweet. But there is no doubt, I love you. Love you with all my heart.

Your smile is my sunrise, your kiss is my sunset.
Thank you for being the most wonderful friend and companion

No poems no fancy words I just want the world to know that I LOVE YOU my Princess with all my heart.

You mean more to me than you'll ever know. Thank you for always being here for me, sweetheart. I love you more than anything!!! Love always.

We've been through a few hard times honey..well..I just want to let all the people to know that you are my only one..I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

Romantic SMS - 2

Friday, January 25, 2008

Chandni se chamakti is raat mein,
ek khushboo si hai har baat mein,
hai sitaare mere kadmo ke tale,
Ek ehsaas hai aaj unki har aahat mein,
paas aake bhi kyu hein duriya,
koi pyasa hein kyu barsat mein.
Pyar ko chod kar tum koi aur baat karo
Ab mujhe pyar ki har baat se dar lagta hai
Meri khatir na woh badnam kahin ho jaye
Esliye unki har mulaqat se dar lagta hai
Khuda hamari tarah tumhe tanhaayi na de,
Hum jee lenge tanha, par tumhe Judai na de,
hamari nigahon mein basi rahe apki soorat,
Aapko bhale hi hum dikhayi na de
Aaj dil puch baitha, apni hi tasveer se,
Tune kya paya hai apni taqder se,
Aapki tasveer dilke aaine ko dikhai,
Aur kaha aisa dost paya hai dunia ki bheed se.
Sapna Kabhi sakar nahi hota
mohabbat ka koi aakar nahi hota
sub kuch ho jata hai is duniya mein
magar dubara kisi se sacha pyaar nahi hota.....
Kash Ye Dil Shishe ka bana hota,
Chot Lagti to Beshak ye Fanah hota. .
Par Sunte Jab Wo Aawaz iske Tutne ki,
Tab Unhe b Apne Gunah ka Ehsaas hota...
Jane kaha tha or kaha aa gaya!
duniya me bankar mehman aa gaye!
Abhi to zindagi ki kitab puri padhi bhi nahi aur jane kitne imtihan aa gaye...
Life mein kbhi compromise karna pade to don't hesitate.
BCoz...... Jhukta wahi hai jisme jaan hoti hai.
Akad hi to murde ki pehchan hoti hai..
Dil ne socha khat likhu, mili na shayari pyar wali.
Phir socha likhu phool se, mili na dali gulab wali.
Isliye sms bhej rahi hu taki toote na dosti pyar wali.
Jo Palpal Chalthi Hai Who Zindagi Hai.
Jo Palpal Jalthi Hai Who Roshani Hai.
Jo Palpal Kilthi Hai Who Mohabbat Hai.
Par Jo Harpal Saath Hai Woh DOSTI Hai....

Munna Bhai SMS - 2

MUNNA BHAI : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na
MUNNA BHAI : Oye Short Circuit yeh lightbulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?
Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us time ke salmaan khan thay!!!
After finishing MBBS… Dr Munna Bhai starts his practice.
He checked his FIRST patient's eyes,tongue & ears by TORCH & finally what did he say?
"Battery is OK"
PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel meingaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
Munna: Meray paas aik buri khabar hai, aur aik buhat hi buri khabar hai teray wastay.
Patient: Acha to pehlay buri khabar suna daal.
Munna: Apun k paas jo teri report pahunchi us mien likha tha k teraypaas sirf 24 ghantay hain zinda rehnay k liye.
Patient: Sirf 24 ghantay. is say buri khabar kya ho sakti hai.
Munna: (Jadu ki Japhhi Dalte Hoauy) Main kal say teray tak pahunchnay ki koshish kar raha hoon.
Munna:Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.

Munna Bhai SMS - 1

CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehlaaaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnaykamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?CIRCUIT : Nahin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega.
Abhi bole to bhai ko tere SMS nahi aarele,
Bhai ka khopdi boht tight he,
Bol nikalu kya tera luky draw?
bole to do-char SMS chipka dal mamu.
Sender… Circuit Bhai!
Tera bhot memory aa rela tha,
Itna tem ho gela hai,
tere ko dekha bhi nai,
Akha life mei tere jesa 1 item mila apanko,
miss to karega
Exam's song by Munna bhai:
"Chanda Mama so Gaye,Student sarey jage.
Dekho pakdo yaron,Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.
Ek pariksha khatam,to duji shuru ho gayi MAAMU.
Ab itni night ko apun tere ko kisi film ki kahani sunane k liye msg to karega nahin.
Common sense ki baat hai ktere ko GUD Night bolney ka hai!
MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar.Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehli hain.
MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega.

Republic Day SMS - 1

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Wishing You A Wonderful Super-Duper - Zabardast Xtra-Badiya - Xtra Special Ekdum Mast n Happy Bole To Ekdum Jhakaas *Happy Jai Hind Republic Day*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am in love, I am passionate about her, I loving every moment of it and why not its her 61th Birth Day. Its apni India. Happy Republic Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Other might have forgotten,But never can i,The Flag of my countryFurls very high,Happy Republic day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tairna hai to smandar mein tairo
nadi naalo mein kya rakha hai?
Pyar karna hai to watan se karo
In bewafa logo mein kya rakha hai.
JAI HIND Happy republic day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
31 states,
1618 languages,
6400 castes,
6 religions,
6 ethnic groups,
29 major festivals &
1 country!
Be proud to be an Indian!...
Great REPUBLIC...
Happy Republic day !

Mallu Jokes - 1

Saturday, January 19, 2008

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDaax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the kol-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in
Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught
fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to
America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office
everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait ?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'
16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "
17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football
teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of
kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana
Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN
bones....

Santa Banta - 4

Friday, January 18, 2008

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in m! edical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon
reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

Santa Banta - 3

Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every
time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash ?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever-
What comes first -the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Santa Banta - 2

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally
writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write
against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle,
aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai,
koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

Funny Quotes - 3

Saturday, January 12, 2008

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Funny Quotes - 2

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

Santa Banta - 1

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Banta : I give up.
Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music
*********
Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
Judge : "But why ?"
Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."
Judge : "How do you know ?"
Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."
*********
From his death bed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta."
Jasmeet : "Banta ! But he is your enemy !"
Santa : " Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."
*********
Banta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.
Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, " Maybe, she didn't get the fax."

Funny Quotes - 1

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and itSeems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for anHour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'SRelativity.- Albert Einstein
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts workingThe moment you get up in the morning and does notStop until you get into the office.- Robert Frost
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody'sThere to appreciate it.- Franklin P. Jones
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explainThe success of those we don't like?- Jean Cocturan
It matters not whether you win or lose; whatMatters is whether I win or lose.- Darrin Weinberg
Life is pleasant.Death is peaceful.It's the transition that's troublesome.
Help a man when he is in trouble and he willRemember you when he isIn trouble again.
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand Wrong answers.
It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider itCreative problem solving.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know Where to shop.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,Neither does milk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal toShoot them.
Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
The number of people watching you is directly Proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Funny Out of Office Email Replies

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

10: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

11: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

12: I've run away to join a different circus.

P.J. - 1

Dil ke arman ansuo me beh gaye,Hum gali me the gali me reh gaye... Light chali gayi,Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye....
Zindagi ki raah mushkil hain to kiya huaa.Thoda sa tum chalo,thoda sa main...phir Rikshaa kar lenge..
Bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara, bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara abbbbe oyeee phir kya huaBakri ne bhi bakre Ko seeng maar diya
Tu ne mere man se khela,Tu ne mere tan se khela, Tu ne mere dil se khela, Tu ne mere Dhan se khela, Tu ne mere man, tan, dil aur dhan se khela,.....Well Played, Well Played (Wah, Wah..)
Wo hamari zindagi main kuchh is tarah se aaye. Wo hamari zindagi main kuch is tarah se aaye. Jaise hare bhare khet main Bhais ghus jaye.
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita
Aaj! aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain.... JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!
aasman mein char tare
aasman mein char tare
do tumhare do hamare
Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha,
Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya

Anniversary SMS - 2

Saturday, January 5, 2008

That special day is here again The day we took our vows You're just as special to me today As you still get me aroused. Happy Anniversary Lover.

Best wishes to you both on ur anniversary, May the love that you share Last your lifetime through, As you make a wonderful pair. Happy Wedding.

On this special day,best wishes go to you,that this wonderful love u share, lasts your lifetime through.Happy anniversary to you my Love.

I'll always remember The day I married you, Without you my love, my beauty, I don't know what I'd do Your loving and thoughtful ,Just to mention two, I adore your sweet smile It makes me want you.Happy Anniversary.

We've had our ups and downs,This we both know,Through it all our love Still managed to grow Different thoughts we had About many things,But our love for each other,Had no attached strings.Happy Anniversary.

Hoping that the love you shared years ago Is still as strong today as it was then Bringing you much joy , love and happiness To celebrate again. Happy Anniversary.

Your love makes my days Happy and bright, Into my world you Brought pure delight Joy beyond reason You've given me, Our love is true This I can see.Happy Anniversary.

Nothing in this world Could ever be As wonderful as the love You've given me Your love makes my days so very bright,just knowing you're my darling wife(Husband).Happy Anniversary.

To the beautiful couple in all the land, May your anniversary be Happy and Grand. Happy Anniversary.

Romantic SMS - 1

Dreaming of u makes my night worthwhile, thinking of u just makes me smile, being with u is the best thing ever & loving u is what I'll do forever.

I m feeling so happy, do u know why?
Coz I'm so lucky, do u know how?
Coz God luvs me. Do u know how?
Coz he gave me a gift. Do u know what?
It's U my love.

To hear what is unspoken, to see what is invisible, to feel without without even touching... is the miracle called Love.

People fall in luv not knowing why or how. It's so special a feeling that it doesn't require much answers. U just luv no matter how stupid u become.

I knew I loved you when I realized that there was no one else I would rather laugh, cry and make memories with. Luv U!

Loving, knowing that you are going to get hurt is like living knowing that you are going to die. But not loving so you don't get hurt is like killing yourself before you die.

Giving someone all ur luv is never an assurance that they'll luv u back! Don't expect luv in return; just wait for it to grow in their hearts. But if it doesn't, be content it grew in urs.

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

Love is falling asleep dreaming of the one that makes you smile and waking up smiling about the one u dream of.

When I'm away from u, I'm still with u. When my eyes are closed, I could still c u. When I'm awake, I still dream of u. When I feel I have everything, I still need u & no matter what, I'll always luv u.

Anniversary SMS - 1

Friday, January 4, 2008

The most important thing you fixed Was on your day of leisure When you fixed your eyes on me That day I'll always treasure I love you***Happy Anniversary ***

Your love makes my days Happy and bright,
Into my world you Brought pure delight
Joy beyond reason You've given me,
Our love is true This I can see.
Happy Anniversary

Nothing in this world Could ever be As wonderful as the love You've given me Your love makes my days so very bright,just knowing you're my darling wife(Husband).Happy Anniversary

We've had our ups and downs,This we both know,Through it all our love Still managed to grow Different thoughts we had About many things,But our love for each other,Had no attached strings.Happy Anniversary

Your loving and thoughtful ,Just to mention two, I adore your sweet smile It makes me want you.Happy Anniversary

I'll always remember The day I married you, Without you my love, my beauty, I don't know what I'd do

How true my feelings were I found out to be The best thing in my life Was when you married me

Thank you my loving wife(loving Husband), For the years we share I know one thing for sure We make a wonderful pair

Long after our anniversary And this greeting has been thrown away Think of the thought behind it,Each and everyday, Happy Anniversary

I'm sending this bouquet of love To say that I love you so much I hope I say it often enough I want you to know it's true,On this special occasion I want to remind you That you are my everything And my love is true. Happy Anniversary

That special day is here again The day we took our vows You're just as special to me today As you still get me aroused. Happy Anniversary

How true my feelings were I found out to be The best thing in my life Was when you married me

Thank you my loving wife(loving Husband), For the years we share I know one thing for sure We make a wonderful pair.

Happy Anniversary and May your marriage be Blessed with love, joy And companionship For all the years of your lives.

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